5 years ago

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It's nice to be back. I think? I mean, I keep ducking out. Basically due to the numerous mental issues I've been facing down for a long time now. I'm gonna make a video discussing this at length because I feel that maybe it could help someone and in some way help me, too. I just want to make more content that is just ME. Less "produced" stuff. That's not to say I'm getting rid of any produced stuff. Definitely not. But I just want to be in a place where if I just want to sit down and talk to you all, I feel like I can do that and not have to worry about it not being what everyone expects from me. Sure, some people won't like it, but at this point, what else do I do?

The less I upload, the more my channel GROWS. The more I upload, the more it dwindles. It's such a backwards system. But I've stopped caring about subscriber numbers a long, long time ago. Basically back when YouTube made subscribers IRRELEVANT. Considering barely any of them get notified of new videos anyway. So be it.

Anyway, yeah, I wanna show more ME and less of MY SHOWS, while still retaining the shows many of you love. I just feel that in this point in my life, I need to be able to be who I am and not constantly be hiding behind this persona of "host". Otherwise I'll never enjoy what I do ever again.

Thanks for reading, if you did. I appreciate it. And know that I've got a lot of love for you. I'm staring down some monumental problems in my life right now, almost all of which originate in my own brain, but I'll try to get back up on my feet.

It used to be that when I got knocked down, I'd get back up twice as fast. Being knocked down was fuel for me. It raged in my heart and put me into kickass mode to prove everyone wrong. I just think I've been knocked down too many times--too hard. And each time I try to heal, another kick comes in.

All I can do is try to beat this. If you still support me after all this...thank you.

Rob

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