Life Coaching 101 - The Solution is Not What You Think #copingmechanisms #counterintuitive #conflict

The Solution is Not What You Think 🤔

Because of our childhood traumas we have developed coping mechanisms that we use to navigate the world. Unfortunately, when it comes to problems, these coping mechanisms are not a great way to solve them.

As an example, take someone who is afraid of conflict because they believe their safety depends on how everyone else feels. So, when this person has an argument with someone else, they want to immediately fix the problem. However, the other person may want space so they can calm down and sit with whatever's come up.

So the person who derives their safety from others believes that solving the problem right there and then is the solution. Their natural response is to push and push and push and try to solve the issue which just makes the other person even more upset. However, if they can walk away and give that person the space they desire, that person usually calms down and is able to have an actual conversation about what's happening.

So the solution was actually totally counterintuitive to what was believed. This is often the case when we are handling things through the eyes of the traumatized inner child. We do what we do because we think it keeps us safe, but in reality it does the opposite.

Stick with me while I discuss this and other interesting topics. 

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#counterintuitive #conflict #justwalkaway #notwhatyouthink #copingmechanisms
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