Barbie is torture (part 2/2)

Barbie is torture (part 2/2)

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Part 1: https://youtube.com/shorts/CWp1c63tVrc
Follow along as RANKED reviews a new movie release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into our sacred hierarchical list.

I would say that Barbie is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life, but I think labelling it as a movie would be giving it too much credit. Torture device would be more accurate. In fact until now I never sat in a movie theater and actively prayed to be the victim of a mass shooting.

What should have been a celebration of the beloved children’s doll, you know, a movie vehicle by which young girls would be inspired to get into Barbies and increase Mattel’s share price, instead bombarded those young girls with feminist indoctrination that probably confused the hell out of them with words like patriarchy and gynecologist and fascist.

This movie doesn’t showcase the brand of feminism that simply says pursue a career if you want, but the kind that blames everything that’s possibly negative in the world on men, something that would never be tolerated if the opposite was expressed in a film or anything else.

And I get it, I get the core idea here, this is a gender swap idealistic feminist utopia fantasy movie where Barbieland is the polar opposite of the “real world” where women run everything and men sit around seeking the eyeballs and approval of women, the status quo feminists perceive themselves to be a victim of today.

But I guess I just don’t understand why this movie was made for adults. It only serves as a pathetic but not surprising revelation that our generation is not only plagued with an overabundance of man-children, but an equal number of woman-children. Frankly I feel really bad for actual children that didn’t receive a proper Barbie movie in the same way that earlier this year Nintendo fans finally got a proper Mario movie that both kids and adults could enjoy.

There is a bitterness at the core of this film, and that’s precisely why I can’t stand it. What could have been fun for everyone turned into the cinematic equivalent of the phrase “I hate men, they’re so sexist!” If you can’t understand the irony of such a statement, maybe I should string off a list of cheap complaints in your face until your brainwashing evaporates.

But I guess it’s okay because right at the end the creator of Barbie says it’s all right not to be special and to just be a normal mom or whatever.

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