Who can have a depression and emotional symptoms: part 2 of 2

I've been living with depressive seasonal bipolar for 32 years, diagnosed officially 20 years ago. Each year, around late July, I begin to experience feelings of unease and discomfort. This progressively transforms into heightened emotional sensitivity and the onset of sadness, marking the start of my annual depressive cycle. These feelings continue to intensify, leading to self-esteem issues where I begin to devalue myself, leading to feelings of inferiority and self-criticism.
To cope with this, I have developed an awareness system where I keep reminding myself that these negative thoughts are a result of the depression, not a reflection of who I truly am. It's a strategy that helps me separate the illness from my identity. However, I often find the need for external help to disrupt the cycle of negative thoughts when it becomes too overwhelming.
There are days when I struggle with deep discouragement, sometimes with suicidal thoughts. The hardest phase for me is when apathy sets in. This state, where emotional pain becomes so intense that I become dormant and nonreactive to any stimulation, usually requires medication for me to overcome.
One of the most important realizations from my journey is the critical role of seeking help when dealing with depression. It's a disease that needs support from various sources, including psychological and medical intervention. Admitting I needed help was a challenge due to my pride, but once I did, it significantly improved not only my own life but also the lives of those around me.

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