the flip side of sorrow...explosions of anandamide *miles davis: kind of blue

that eye keeps the welfare state going
shit gets outta hand real quick
God has blessed me with awareness of these things
i used to not go to work at all
sleeping. masturbating. going online and freaking out. mental unhealth day haha
condition is a very serious word
paisley doesn't need the attention
maybe it's a quintuple edged sword
thoughts turn into actions *simple possession *addiction is another form of ocd
these ticks that i can't stop myself from giving into
if i ever make any kinda $ for this "art" i'd wanna take care of those in need (kids, animals, homeless people)
the same mindset that is open to psychedelics and not open to technology
even people i connect with i just wanna get away from eventually
i don't equate happiness w/ friends
i need to stop saying that i don't smoke cos it makes it that much more of a temptation to do so
i used to smoke a lotta weed w/ people
i just enjoy having worthwhile conversations
interesting conversationalists are usually cool just talking to themselves
it feels like forever haha
been watching too much asmr
bad people. good people. but mostly lame people who will never take a stand.
the system is what the system does
the vigilante pacifist?
been screwed up n i'll stay screwed up
what's wrong w/ being brought very low
covid helped me overcome hypochondria
if the rest of the world does it i want nothing to do with it
i took that pill one day only haha
this doctor hugged me cos i couldn't stop crying
explosions of terrible thoughts *ocd
easy to point this out in other people but when it comes to yourself it's difficult
therapist + layer on the couch
i'm still doin it w/ or w/out the camcorder
sorry vortex but you're just gonna have to take criticism
i do this to reach out n let people know how to deal with these things
those that created fb knew that it would exploit our insecurity
it ain't human nature, it's worldly nature
we ain't supposed to be egotistical like this
not necessarily our fault but we still need to take responsibility
nobody sees fit cos they're too busy complaining about those that they claim are unfit
i call everybody a bitch (restaurant lingo)
how much farther along would i be w/out defense mechanisms
she's convinced she is bipolar, i'm convinced it's bdpd
i guess it doesn't really matter does it
if she could only understand why she is the way that she is she wouldn't be in the situation that she's in
the more awareness you develop the higher your chance of schizophrenia haha
i chill out w/ this stuff cos it ain't goin anywhere
we all have God and the devil in us
we come from God but we are still in this world *and satan is the prince
why do i have to provide proof in order to get the services that i pay for
the dude had gotten me this shit had to pull some strings
what does insurance do exactly
i love this pillow
am i just too batshit or sumin
everything but reliance on God
all these companies and corporations and policies screw us over
so much cheaper to eat crap
latinos never complain that is my fave thing about them
they are fast workers but not efficient at all
same problem with construction as food industry
fast food is a better example of this than anything
we never seem to know what is in our best interest so they capitalize on that
the system. hospitals. insurance co. products.
every time i attempt to read this paper work i start crying
gonna try not to cry
in order to receive services you have to go along w/ the system
...cos i can't pee clean
this is the most entertaining questionnaire ever yo welcome
i am kinda dumb but at least i don't have a smart phone making me dumber
you'd think that my fave time would be 4:20 but not a typical stoner...it is 3:33
staring at my flip phone is a little different