Robotnik's I've Come To Make an Announcement Speech but it's a Shakespearean Soliloquy

I didn't use ChatGPT for this one. I wrote it myself last year and forgot to ever record it.

Lend ear! I’ve come to make an announcement!
Shadow Hedgehog, thou art a spineless cur!
I name thee Oedipus, For as Lord Zeus
Dids’t rain a golden shower ‘pon Danae
Thou leak’d upon mine wife. That’s right! He took
His hedgehog manhood out, all o’er with quills,
And leak’d upon mine wife. And this his boast:
“More mighty than the sword is this, mine quill.”
And quoth I ‘tis gorge rising!’ n’therefore I
Hath pen’d and pinn’d this accusation ‘ere
On public post where any twit may see!
Shadow Hedgehog, thine wits and quill art small!
A walnut’s breadth wouldst be too great, by half,
To span thine nob and nib, together both!
And know thou this? Two walnuts here have I,
Yet still too small, by far, to measure mine own pen!
And LOOOOOO! That’s right, thou hog, tall points, no quills.
No pillows these. Belike two cannon balls,
Neath mine basilica! Thou spill’t thine ink,
Upon mine wife, thou pricked her with thine pen.
Likewise I’ll prick the earth! As sown, so reap!
A boiling river’s rage! But not on earth.
Mine aim is high, this stream shall touch the moon!
Art thou well pleas’d, Obama, Lord of men?
I’ve leak’d upon the moon, thou addle-pate!
You’ve one day, sans an hour, yet, ‘fore this
Mine stream of gold shall drop upon the earth.
Now get thee from mine sight, if thou hast wit.
Else thou shalt feel mine gold upon thine crown.