Before my 30’s

My therapy has always been painting.
The first painting in this video is my very first captured abstract painting when I was 14 years old.
Continued with a work from 10 years later.
In the period between 14 and 24 I hardly made any paintings. I was in school and mostly drawing. Outside of school and secretly during I hung out on the street of Haarlem and Amsterdam with friends.
I then slowly began to escape myself from the reality we lived in because I couldn’t quite understand the world and humanity being so mean to each other. I started using drugs and also numbed myself a lot with alcohol. I ended up in bizarre situations and I longed to return to nature, to the peace and wholeness of Mother Earth.
Only when I was 30 years old did I leave the city for the countryside where I found peace again and that is clearly visible in the paintings I have been making ever since.
In the peace with myself I learned again that we can create our own world ourselves and that we can let go of all we don’t like in the society.
I don’t regret any since all processes have been necessary to develop myself and to heal from the wounds that have arisen during this journey.
Today I give more and more back to the earth. I take care of the plants, the insects and animals around me and I listen to the messages they gave me. I feel calm and loving and I love myself more and more and therefore also my surroundings.

In the past I never dared to write this because I was too insecure for that and I felt I wasn’t good enough. Today I hardly care what anyone else thinks about me because I finally know who I am and what I stand for.
For a number of years now I have seen how beautiful the world is and that if you have the right people surrounding you, you even regain confidence in humanity.

I look forward to the future because I know that mine will be in nature with like-minded people around me in peace and quiet so that we can also face the problems together and give mother nature back with respect in all balance.

This video is a reminder to me of my growth process.
(Paintings made before my 30’s)
Thanks for reading/watching and lots of love from me!

❤️
Roland