What fucked up thing did you do as a kid? #kid #kids

2 years ago
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#reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday #rttoday

What fucked up thing did you do as a kid?
Around kindergarten age i put my willy underneath a teddybear...infront of everyone...and said "look, the teddybear has a penis" A young comedian, i was.
I was 12 and tried searching everywhere for porn of children of my age because I didn’t like looking at adults. Boy, was I stupid.
When I was 11, my friend and I soaked a tennis ball in gasoline and lit it on fire and with gloves on tossed it around with my friend. Just cause. Ended up throwing it to him in an arc and he missed and it slid down his chest, leaving a on fire gasoline trail on his shirt. Had 1st degree burns and we really got in trouble for that one.
Gave my little brother ex-lax and told him it was chocolate when we were under 10. I knew it would give him diarrhea, but I didn’t know how badly. It was flocked up.
I tried to poison my mom's boyfriend. I was probably around 11. I had one of those science kits from the Scholastic book fair. I took the citric acid and dumped the whole container into his drink. He sipped it and just said, "this tastes like shit" and dumped it out lol
Found a dead squirrel, put it in my tootsie-roll piggy bank, kept it under my bed for a while. I thought death was interesting, I was around 8 or so.
I was pretty young when this happened maybe 13 years old? I was in a hot tub with my friends and I thought I had to fart... it was not a fart. Pooped in my bathing suit so I casually grabbed it with my hand and while no one was looking a dropped it behind the hot tub.
Friends and I would hang out on a side street with a 1 gallon gas can and a lighter. When we saw a car coming one of us would run across the street while pouring gas and the other friend would light the gas after he was clear.
I flipped off people while going for a walk with my parents when I was 5. I didn’t realize that was a bad thing to do...
Dropped a rope out of my second story window, tied it to a plastic tricycle, asked my neighbor if he wanted to go for a ride, and lifted him up to the window with the help of my brother and sister. Then we dropped him, and caught the rope before he hit the ground. It was stupid, but none of us had parents responsible enough to watch us or teach us anything.
In 7th grade, I lit a poster on fire that was hanging on the basement wall adjacent to my parents indoor heating oil tank.
eat coins
I made my brother and his friends a jug of kool-aid with water from the toilet
I helped a Jewish kid steal a Christmas tree. He complained his family never had a Christmas tree
I still cringe when I remember that I asked my 6th grade teacher what a blowjob was because some older kids kept talking about it. She was cool though and told me.
I had a notebook that I proceeded to fill with drawings, each page was a scene like a comic book. It told the pictorial story of a woman getting pregnant and giving birth with graphic detail (detail according to my 7 year old understanding of how birth worked)
My older brother pissed me off so I pissed in a super soaker
When I was in second grade i said my teacher was stabbing kids with pencils. The others were brought in one at a time and questioned. This did not happen and I remember the teacher fondly and have no idea why i did it.
I used to have a couple bullies in the first grade One day they decided it would be a good idea to strap me to a bench and strip me So you know what I did? I shit my pants right then and there They never bothered me again.
When I was eight, I stole my fathers nickel collection and spent it on penny candy
Pooped my pants when I was like 5. Didn't want to tell anyone, so I dropped it in the heater duct in my room. House got sold and we moved away not long after (unrelated).
I would make animal tails out of paper, tape them to my butt, then pretend I was said animal and run around on all fours, making animal noises. I did NOT turn out to be a furry, however. Once when pretending to be a ring-tailed lemur I pranced straight into a closed glass patio door. Maybe that smacked the furry out of me.
My friend and I ripped and stole pages out of a neighbor's Cosmo that had pictures of boobs. I think it might have been for breast self exams? We were ten year old girls at the time and got totally busted by my parents. That same friend and I got into a different neighbors' trash bags after Thanksgiving and decided to sample some of their leftovers. What the actual flock? Kids are so strange.
When I was probably 10, I practiced my golf swing on 20-30 toads in my driveway. I am over 50 now and think about it often.
Went to the cinema dressed as a ninja for attention
My parents used to my peel apples because kids can have trouble swallowing and chewing the skin. I was upset I wasn’t allowed it and when they weren’t looking I took the skin out of the garbage and ate it.

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