Two Ways to Mess Your Kids Up

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Our role as dads is one of the biggest roles we have as men. All men influence like a dad when they mentor others. So in a way, every man acts like a dad at some point in their life.
Dads are one of the most influential factors in their kids' lives and in society as a whole. The relationship with our fathers sets us up for many of the ways we will live our lives.
If you are a dad, you have an incredible amount of influence on your kids. This isn't meant to scare you, it is meant to challenge you.
The challenge is to live as a good influence. That means making choices that help your kids develop as whole and healthy adults. To do this you have to watch out for 2 attitudes that will mess your kids up: Selfishness and Hypocrisy.

Selfishness
- All of us have a tendency to selfishness
- Kids often help us to overcome this
- As men, we can hold onto the attitude "It's all about me!"
- Me Centered Parenting
- Me centered parenting focuses more on us than our children
- This is selfish because we are telling our kids that our reputation is the most important thing for them to think about
- Healthy dads work to train their kids to own and take responsibility for their own reputation
- Blame Parenting
- Blame parenting is the Dad who always talks about what could have been
- The other side is the "I was "all that" before I got married"
- Kids don't care what you were before you had them
- They want you to be something now for them
- Ignore Parenting
- Ignore parenting isn't an obvious style that men take part it
- How we lie to ourselves and our kids is by saying things like, "I'm doing this for you...."
- Kids want their dad more than anything else
- We shouldn't accept a life of ignoring our family while saying we are working for them

Hypocrisy
- Hypocrisy for us as men is when our saying and our doing are different
- Outward Hypocrisy
- We all have a bit of outward hypocrisy in all of us
- Outward hypocrisy is another angle of image management
- Outward hypocrisy is about teaching our kids to protect our reputation, rather than engage with authentic living
- Family Hypocrisy
- Family hypocrisy is when we expect things from our kids that we don't do
- Putting members of the family down in front of others or behind their back
- Not taking responsibility for our actions
- Inward Hypocrisy
- Inward hypocrisy is often the hardest to deal with because it usually involves our own shame
- Kids will figure it out

Watch and Enjoy!
David Maxwell

Key Moments in this Episode
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Content Opener - 02:04
Selfishness - 05:19
Hypocrisy - 17:32

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ABOUT DAVID MAXWELL
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“Being a man is not a finish line to pass, but an adventure you live every day.”
David Maxwell coaches men on how to live a life with purpose and passion. He’s spent the last 25 years helping young men feel confident in who they are and the decisions they make.
He has been speaking in front of small and large audiences for over 30 years and hosts “The Confident Man Podcast” on all major podcast platforms.
David has a degree in Banking and Finance and a Master’s Degree in Organizational Leadership. He was married to his late wife Angie for 28 years and has 2 children.

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