ROB SCHMITT-BIDEN'S NON-BINARY BANDIT ARRESTED AS FUGITIVE OF JUSTICE

Well, the non-binary bandit has been arrested again this time as a fugitive from justice, meaning that Sam Brenton, our good friend here, tried to evade arrest in some manner, perhaps by leaving the state. We're not sure yet. Last night, four police cruisers swarmed the Maryland home of Biden's ex nuclear waste official that they were so proud of their big diversity hire neighbors. Say he was escorted out in cuffs. He's now being held without bond. Britain has admitted to stealing luggage filled with women's clothing from multiple airports, but this time's different.
He's arrested as a fugitive from justice or a fugitive of justice. So Sam tried to evade his latest arrest in some way. Perhaps we think he found that tough to do in stolen high heels that are three sizes too small.