How Do I Rebuild My Self Esteem After Years of Abuse?

7 years ago
2

In this video, I answer a question from one of my viewers. We will look at the advantages of a healthy self-esteem and address the question of how to build one, especially when a person never really had self-esteem to begin with.

Original question:

Hello there. I’m really enjoying your videos and I have a question.

How do you rebuild yourself and your self-esteem when you’ve never really had any? I’m in my 40’s and it’s only now that I’m seeing the patterns in my life and how toxic they are. I have been realizing how terribly some of the people in my life have always treated me and I’m starting to leave those people behind, but it’s been difficult to figure it out because these people have a way of denying their behavior and that makes me doubt my perceptions. It was only after some extreme bad treatment that I finally saw things and now I can’t believe what I’ve put up with for my entire life and it’s been in every sort of relationship – family, friends, co-workers, boyfriends and even strangers in the mall. I have allowed everyone to treat me like garbage, like a complete doormat while I chased after them, never able to say no and still trying to please. I am struggling with feelings of anger and self-hate because of the things I’ve accepted and associated with people who I always knew were really nasty, such as my ex-narc. I am struggling with the fact that even though I’ve finally pushed some of these people away, they don’t care at all about losing me. They never cared about me at all. It’s left me feeling tricked, stupid and very burnt out. I’m grateful that despite all this I still want connections with people, but I want positive ones.

Link to CPTSD video: https://youtu.be/ItgCRJhd1p0

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