I offended a lot of people saying them...

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I am an extremely self-centered person and I feel guilty about it.
I am an Indian and I am a very self-centered person.

I am a person who doesn't care about anything or anyone
unless there is something in it for me.

In the beginning of 2020, my cousin sister died at a very young age,
we weren't close. But when I got the call from my dad, my reaction
was "Hmm. Ok." That's it. I didn't cry. I didn't think about her family.
All I could think about was how unaffected I was. I even texted
my friend regarding it. Probably to get sympathy.

Similarly, my tuition teacher who taught me since my childhood
till my 10th grade, she died by suicide. My reaction, still the same.

I haven't been able to make friends. Even if I make friends,
I interact with them as long as they are close or I am going
to be interacting with them soon anyways or if I am looking
for something romantic. I haven't dated a single person in my life yet.

I lost touch with my school friends after school, college friends
after college, childhood friends from my childhood home as soon as I moved.

I don't think about them at all. It's like I browse through social media so much.
I could probably find some relatable content for them. But I never think
that this person might find it funny or find it relatable...

I can't seem to keep any friendship alive unless I see them potentially
being an important part of my life.

I offended a lot of people by telling them that I didn't need them
and I won't text them first ever. I didn't realise it was offensive.