How To Talk To People - Candles In The Dark: Session 1-5 [Psychology]

Session #1: The Mirror (00:00:00-00:43:12)
When you’re talking to statists (people who still believe that “government” and political “authority” are legitimate and necessary) it can be easy to assume that the entire problem resides inside their heads. That is not the case.
No matter how philosophically correct you are, unless you can first understand and control your own psychology, the likelihood of having a useful discussion with someone else on the topic is slim to none. If your goal is to be right, while alienating and angering everyone around you and convincing no one, then do whatever comes naturally. But if you want to develop an approach that has a much greater chance of actually getting through to people, then you need to train yourself to do a number of things that will take time and focus to perfect. And no, having evidence and logic on your side will not, by itself, be enough to break through the fundamental assumptions and paradigms that exist in most people’s minds.

Session #2: The Goal (00:43:12-01:41:38)
When you are talking to someone whose views significantly differ from your own, how often do you even have a specific goal in mind while talking to them, and how often do you have any concrete way to measure success—to know if talking to them even accomplished anything? Usually both sides have some vague intention of changing the other person’s mind on the issue, but beyond that, they are just throwing opinions and ideas at each other, without any clear or realistic goal, and without any way to know if they achieved that goal.

Session #3: The Wedge (01:41:38-02:38:33)
Any time you talk to someone with a fundamentally different viewpoint than yours, it is natural and common for the conversation to immediately become a contest, a confrontation, a form of combat, where it’s “you against them.” But if the other person views you as “the enemy,” the likelihood of you changing his mind, or even getting him to hear you at all, is slim to none. And this is true whether the disagreement or debate is emotional and heated, or perfectly calm and formal. But there is a fundamentally different way to approach the discussion, which is not an argument between you and them at all, in which the conflict that does exist—and must exist—has you and them on the same side. But to do this, you must understand that the person you are talk to is not the enemy, and that you do not have to “defeat” them in any way. To this end, “Candles in the Dark” teaches an approach which may feel very counter-intuitive at first, but reliably gives drastically improved results.

Session #4: The Void (02:38:33-03:24:24)
How many times have you offered simple, clear explanations to statists, only to have them respond with weird evasions, random tangents, and other things that made it seem like they either weren’t listening at all, or perhaps were just too stupid to understand even the most basic concepts and principles you were explaining? After the fourth session of “Candles in the Dark,” you will know why this happens so often, and more importantly, will know how to avoid it. No, the problem is not that they are incapable of understanding. The problem is not that they are too stupid. And they’re not even trying to be dishonest or evasive. But you need to understand what is going inside the statist’s head, and what is making them respond the way they do, if you want to learn how to communicate in a way that allows them to hear you, and to understand what you are saying. And yes, even to agree with you.

Session #5: The Obstacle Course (03:24:29-End)
A lot of “Candles in the Dark” is about what not to do: all the ways in which you can accidentally self-sabotage your own efforts. (It is extremely likely that you have already done these things over and over again in your prior efforts to talk to statists.) When you learn to do the “Candles in the Dark” method correctly, it can look so simple and obvious. But first you need to know about, and avoid, all the ways in which your own psychology, and/or the psychology of the person you are talking to, can quickly make a friendly chat into a fruitless, uncomfortable argument. Once you have done the course, the following image can be a convenient reminder of a lot of the main points—the important “do”s and “don’t”s of communicating effectively.a fruitless, uncomfortable argument. Once you have done the course, the following image can be a convenient reminder of a lot of the main points—the important “do”s and “don’t”s of communicating effectively.

Source:

Session 1 - The Mirror:
https://t.me/AntiDisinformation/6092

Session 2 - The Goal:
https://t.me/AntiDisinformation/6093

Session 3 - The Wedge:
https://t.me/AntiDisinformation/6094

Session 4 - The Void:
https://t.me/AntiDisinformation/6095

Session 5 - The Obstacle Course:
https://t.me/AntiDisinformation/6096

More resources:

Larken Rose Youtube Channel -

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFeK8ZdHbCqAq3gekWs8aEQ/videos