1 year ago

** Confidence Covered By Humility is a podcast by James Mayhew for anyone who wants to lead their business, their team and their home with humble confidence.

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It was the summer of 1990 and I was 19. I was standing on a long stretch of straight road in rural Iowa as part of a survey crew where we were marking a road to be resurfaced.

It was the first day helping this crew, a nice departure from doing other entry level jobs for the Secondary Roads department.

Carl was my boss and he was walking briskly straight towards me and he was furious. As he got within 20 feet or so he started shouting, Quit screwing around! Pay attention! Get your head out of your rear! Except he used, shall we say, some more intense and colorful words.

I stood there bewildered as he tore me apart.

What happened next was a great learning experience for me and it’s become an effective illustration that I use in my business when speaking about healthy and unhealthy communication.

If you are tasked with leading a team of any size, then you must embrace this concept of being approachable.

Here’s why this is so critical: If you’re not approachable then without a doubt you’re missing vital information that would enhance your team’s success.

When you’re approachable
* you’ll gain respect from team members
* you’ll have more open dialogue
* it reduces the amount of mistakes that occur
* you’ll see improvement in productivity
* you’ll have a more cohesive team
* and you’ll see that it instills confidence in others.

When you’re not approachable, basically the opposite is happening:
* communication is incomplete
* people are afraid to make decisions on their own
* there are more mistakes
* it reduces morale and lowers productivity.

So let’s talk about factors that might limit your approachability for others.

1. You are moody.
Moody people are up and down and this creates a feeling of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from your team. They don’t know which version they’re going to experience from day to day and it causes them to ask, “Hey, what mood is James in today? Is this a good time to talk about that problem we keep having?”
And when people realize today is not a good day because you’re in one of those moods, they just keep limping along which will impact your customer satisfaction and team morale. Two big things you can’t afford to compromise on.

2. You lack control over your emotions.
If you’re known for losing your temper, it will create a sense of fear and apprehension and you can be certain others won’t come to you as frequently or with as much detail because they don’t want to get yelled at or endure your meltdown. A wise CEO once explained his approach which is to never get too high during the highs and never get too low during the lows.

3. You give off that “Vibe.”
You know what I mean here. You say things like, My door is open, you can always come to me. Except your face and your body language say otherwise. People read that and they know that this is NOT the time to come in.

And the dangerous part about is that you end up getting frustrated when you learn that others perceive you as overly busy, and you react negatively towards them for not being willing to interrupt you!

Be careful here because that is destructive to your team’s view of you as their leader and it will unravel even further very quickly.

4. You are stressed.
People who are stressed are often hurried and rushed. They’re trying to make up time, trying to beat the clock, racing from meeting to meeting. A stressed boss creates a stressed team and it will prevent people from communicating openly with you.

5. Your ego.
When your confidence is unchecked you become arrogant. And arrogance is directly tied to your ignorance. That’s because overly confident people don’t ask for help and often portray, “I’ve got this.” They don’t seek input from others. They believe they’re supposed to have all the answers.

There’s a great quote by Andy Stanley that says, “Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.”

6. Your timidness.
This is another factor in approachability. We have to also talk about the timid leader who avoids conflict, resists giving feedback, or is reluctant to make decisions. Weak leaders actually are very approachable, however, because people have zero confidence that they’ll do anything with it, they choose go to someone else will help them.

7. You don’t make time to get to know the people on your team or around your company.

Building strong relationships is

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