Hotel staff of reddit, what’s the most NSFW moment you witnessed at your hotel?

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Hotel staff of reddit, whatÂ’s the most NSFW moment you witnessed at your hotel?
I worked front desk at a luxury hotel, one night the elevator doors opened & a completely naked woman stumbled out, covered in blood. It turned out that she was epileptic, had a seizure in the shower, fell, cut herself, exited the her room & locked herself out. It was a truly terrifying 25 minutes of trying to piece together what had happened.
Orgy in the hot tub while children were playing in the indoor pool steps away. I had to break that up and throw them out. And deal with the numerous lengthy yet justified complaints about it.
The most NSFW thing that I recall was the manager getting on a cleaning kick and accidentally mixing the wrong chemicals in the pool area. A toxic gas started to form and the whole hotel had to be evacuated at like 5 AM.
Best friend was GM I was manager. He found over the years 4 guns, 5 lbs of weed (at once) 2-3 dead bodies. The amount of guns is what surprises me. Only one out of the four guns found over the years was reported stolen.
Not staff, but once just outside my room, like 2 doors, someone pass out drunk and shit himself, liquid shit, huge pool... at least 2 m diameter, the hotel changed everyone on the floor to other rooms in other floors.
I was the trip planner rather than the onsite staff, but I did get an interesting phone call one morning after our guide walked in on two of the guests having sex in the tour vehicle. While their respective spouses and kids were inside watching a dance show.This was day 2 of a 10 day itinerary.
Worked as a housekeeper in hotel saw so many dildos and butt plugs just left in the room. Also got to clean off face and boob prints off the glass door to the balcony.
One guy tried to commit suicide behind the hotel despite a crowd of people watching no one called 911 until I did. Then there was the violently drunk guest who puked and pissed herself who then offered to make out with me. You see some weird shit in hotels and I’ve only worked hotels 2 years.
I never witnessed it thankfully (I stayed in the front office like a good Bambi eyed bullet shield), but I DID have a guest come offer the left over lube from their apparent porn shoot to me, along with the note that we should probably sanitize the phones. I was horrified.
I am a Paramedic and we got a call to a hotel for a welfare check because “We heard a woman screaming†We go to the room. Knock on the door. And the fattest guy opens the door smoking a blunt. They were filming a porno. Two people just going at it in the background and we just turned around and left. I about pissed myself laughing