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Kuhn Dogs and an Invisible Enemy
Good Morning, Counselors, Ladies and Germs!
Now, performing again for a limited time engagement only at the Supreme Court, it's America's favorite porn tab guy, in the performance of a once in a lifetime pandemic.
Some say he's pesky, some say he's passionate, even Noah Trevor says, "There's something refreshing about that guy." And, according to Arlington Democrats and Blue Virginia, the words "commando", "onslaught" and "scorched earth" come to the minds of analysts whenever he tries to get on a ballot, but at least one lucky sheriff is thinking about retaining a good criminal defense attorney to defend against racketeering charges, while some other good fellas have empirically found their "judgement"
adversely affected. No names and no need to respond.
However, those folks with the robes at the nation's highest court to provide an opportunity to some of my past acquaintances to waive an argument or put something, anything, on the record, regarding a job offer that thousands would have accepted, according to the folks who protect the integrity of our merit based civil service, albeit a Top Secret billet, in an expired mission, offered not just once, but twice, once after the response deadline, for less than six figures to be a procurement analyst, a job for which no evidence has been produced to suggest he had ever applied for the job.
Maybe it's just me, but that fact pattern involving a job offer to a former biological warfare planner before the longest respiratory tract infection pandemic in history, married with the longest lack of a quorum in history at MSPB, just sounds a little suspicious, especially if the government can neither confirm nor deny it owns a causative biological agent still baffling the scientists that is attributable to more fatalities than Hitler and the Holocaust, in half the time.
My racketeering buddy Jimmy Kimmel would say, everybody does porn, so, if a scientist had some accident, why doesn't he come clean, and admit it? Do the right thing, we always say!
Try this exercise. Metadata meets metaphysics.
Solve for the quantity rational or moral man: 1) Natural origins we find a science that failed to prevent or effectively arrest the novel coronavirus; 2) Lab leak, we have someone who is so evil working with viruses to "save the world" he doesn't want to get in trouble for messing up; 3) Deployed biological agent, we exercised restraint and control, not just becoming absolutely corrupt with power, and the ability to eliminate us all, but guided by some reason. In pandemic, we may have proved Lord Acton wrong. Who's up for some Dom Perignon?
Hallelujah! We are not beyond redemption, though steeped in sin!
Must have the chaplain break this bit of bad news to Jesus gently. And, Chaplain, thanks so much for your contributions to the mission, but we shall NO LONGER REQUIRE YOUR SERVICES. Be sure the folks in Operations, Plans and Training are apprised of this recent development. That's at least another two hours added to the training schedule.
Catch ya on the flip side, Homeys. Yes, I can be quite roofless. Padunk. Dunk
Major Mike Webb
God's Advocate in Pandemic
You can’t save the world if you are NEVER born!
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