Flight Pain

In 1964, Geraldine "Jerrie" Fredritz Mock (1925-2014) became the first woman to fly solo around the world. To learn more about her historic flight, CoBaD recommends checking out the following interactive map of her trip:

https://www.arcgis.com/apps/MapJournal/index.html?appid=a789f2920df14f95b05552cf77280f22

Columbus: “…taking off from New Columbus Georgia, Ohio and departing to the southeast. Then my first checkpoint will be Indigenous-Peoples-of-the-Americas-apolis, Indiana to the west…” - In October, 1492, when Christopher Columbus landed on the island the natives called Guanahani, he called the inhabitants of the land “Los Indios” (Spanish for "Indians"). Yet by the way they were dressed and spoke, it should have been immediately and abundantly clear even to the simplest of minds that these men and women weren’t from India. Yet Columbus stuck with the name. In this skit, Columbus is merely using the same logic in his flight plan. A modern day example of this would be someone departing Dallas, Texas and wanting to drive to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (to the north). But instead, he makes a wrong turn and goes to the south, ending up in San Antonio, Texas. He could either: (1) admit he made a wrong turn or go back north through Dallas and on to Oklahoma City (like most people would do), or (2) refuse to admit he’s wrong and call San Antonio “New Oklahoma City, Texas” and claim his trip a success. In this example, Christopher Columbus would clearly choose the latter approach.
King Ferdinand: “You’re reading me off the checkpoints from that colonoscopy prep turd of a flight plan of yours. Slapdash, very sloppy and doesn’t hold together…” - A member of our troupe is not only a former pilot, but a two-time colonoscopy “veteran.” He confirmed that Columbus’s flight plan was in fact a colonoscopy prep turd.
Columbus: “…I’m AOPA and EAA. I’ve been in Oshkosh…” - AOPA (Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association) and EAA (Experimental Aircraft Association) are two of the biggest general aviation associations in America. Columbus’s “I’ve been in Oshkosh” remark is alluding to the annual “EAA AirVenture Oshkosh” in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, one of the largest general aviation fly-in conferences in the world.
King Ferdinand: “…wet, greasy fat-speckled Genoa salami ass…” - King Ferdinand is referring here to Columbus’s birthplace. Columbus was born in Genoa, Italy, home to the famous “wet,” greasy and fat-speckled Genoa salami. His ass contrasts with the drier, less fatty hard ass known as hard salami of Central Europe. You’ll find a lot of hard asses in Germany, Poland and the Czech Republic.
Announcer: “Columbus’s last words to Jerrie, ‘You can’t miss it,’ only sealed her fate…” - CoBaD firmly believes that when someone gives you verbal directions to a location, and finishes with the phrase “You can’t miss it,” well, that’s the kiss of death, because you’ll miss it.