Is No Contact The Only Way To Get Your Ex Back?

Coach Lee answers the question, "Is the No Contact Rule the only way to get an ex back after a breakup?"

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There are many good reasons for using no contact and it's for more than only getting an ex back but is also best for you after a breakup. The no contact rule is a strategy that is often used after a breakup or during a period of intense conflict in a relationship. It involves cutting off all contact with the other person for a certain amount of time. While it may seem simple on the surface, there are a number of factors to consider when implementing the no contact rule.

Is no contact the only way to get your ex back?

The first thing to keep in mind is that the no contact rule should be a deliberate decision. It's important to take some time to reflect on your goals and motivations before cutting off contact. Are you trying to win the other person back? Are you hoping to move on and start a new chapter in your life? Whatever your reasons, it's important to be honest with yourself about what you hope to achieve through the no contact rule.

Once you've decided to implement the no contact rule, it's important to stick to it. This can be difficult, especially if you have strong feelings for the other person or if you are used to talking to them on a regular basis. However, breaking the no contact rule can be counterproductive and prevent a runion or rekindling of the relationship.

During the no contact period, it's important to take care of yourself. This might involve focusing on your physical health, such as by getting regular exercise and eating a healthy diet. It could also mean taking care of your emotional well-being, such as by spending time with supportive friends or engaging in activities that bring you joy. The key is to focus on your own needs and to use the time away from the other person to heal and grow.

One of the benefits of the no contact rule is that it can provide clarity and perspective. When you are no longer in regular contact with the other person, it can be easier to step back and see the relationship in a new light. This can help you to identify patterns of behavior that may have contributed to the breakup or conflict, and to consider how you might approach future relationships differently.

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Another benefit of the no contact rule is that it can help to reestablish boundaries. There are also important reasons for using the no contact rule if you truly want your ex back and are willing to be disciplined enough to stick to it.

It's worth noting that the no contact rule may not be appropriate for everyone. For example, if you have children with the other person, you may need to maintain some level of contact in order to co-parent effectively. Coach Lee has a video about this called "Strategic Contact." Similarly, if you work with the other person or are part of the same social circle, it may be difficult to completely cut off contact. In these cases, it's important to find ways to manage contact in a way that is healthy and productive for both parties.

No contact also stops the continuing development of limerence tolerance which is where the chemicals and hormones associated with limerence no longer have the same impact. Continuing contact can make it even worse and delay or completely prevent it from ever coming back.

In summary, the no contact rule can be a helpful strategy for those who are struggling with the aftermath of a breakup or intense conflict. It involves cutting off all contact with the other person for a certain amount of time or permanently. While it can be challenging to implement, the no contact rule can provide clarity and perspective, help to reestablish boundaries, allow for personal growth and healing, and help two people consider getting back together after some healing has taken place. On YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwE7oK5u0KM