Degrees of Separation

A member of our troupe has a Ph.D. in Human Factors Psychology. He also happens to be a bagpiper. This sketch was inspired by a 04 July 2019 article he read in the Canadian online magazine “Pipes Drums.” On 23 March 2019, Queen’s University in Belfast, Northern Ireland bestowed Richard Parkes (world champion pipe major of Field Marshal Montgomery Pipe Band) with an honorary doctorate of DLit (Music). An article on that event opened with the sentence “Legendary Field Marshal Montgomery Pipe-Major Richard Parkes can add ‘doctor’ to his long list of accolades.” Presumably not to be outdone, Mr. Parkes’s alma mater, Ulster University, on 04 July 2019 awarded Mr. Parkes with a Doctorate of Letters (DLitt). The article on that event stated “The PhD [sic] for services to piping and drumming follows the presentation of an equivalent honorary doctorate from Queen’s University Belfast, making Parkes the most academically accomplished pipe-major in Grade 1 band history.” The troupe member was so furious upon reading the latter article that he immediately cancelled his subscription to “Pipes Drums” magazine. Honorary doctorates are AWARDS, not ACADEMIC ACCOMPLISHMENTS. To call Mr. Parkes’s honorary doctorates academic accomplishments is an insult to those who spent years taking classes, reading books, studying, writing essays and taking tests to earn their doctorates outright. Honorary doctorates are just that, honorary; they are not substantive in nature. Mr. Parkes’s Masters in Engineering is an academic accomplishment. Apparently the journalists who wrote these articles aren’t academically accomplished. Since they didn’t know the difference between honorary and substantive degrees, apparently they aren’t intellectually accomplished either.
Honorary awards are also subject to abuse. There are an unwritten rule that if you are the recipient of an honorary doctorate, you are not supposed to call yourself doctor and you are not to insist that others call you doctor. Benjamin Franklin broke the first half of that rule and Maya Angelou broke the second half. Plus for recipients (especially politicians), there always remains the question of what they did to “earn” their doctorates. If you want to see a (fictional) take of the seedy side of honorary doctorates, where honorary doctorates are given the quid pro quo treatment, see the “Yes Minister” episode called “Doing the Honours.”
Finally, while these honorary doctorates may gain some cheap publicity for the university, they carry an unnecessary risk. If the individual who receives the honorary degree is later is caught in conduct unbecoming to the university, the bestowal becomes a major source of embarrassment because the university is forever linked to that individual. According to Wikipedia, comedian Bill Cosby received 72 honorary degrees in recognition of his career in acting and comedy. Sixty-two of these have been rescinded due to accusations against Mr. Cosby for sexual assault in 2014. While his 2018 conviction of aggravated indecent assault was vacated in 2021, it’s safe to say the numerous allegations made against him have ensured that he will not be receiving any further honors from institutions of higher learning.
The moral of this story is essentially a warning to all colleges and universities. Don’t hand out honorary degrees: you could be dancing with four.