It’s OK to Be a Man (And Women Like It)

I’ve been around long enough to know that women don’t like a pushover. Women want a guy who is decisive, assertive, and knows what he wants. However, in recent years, it seems like we’re creating a generation of young men who are pushovers. I’m not 100% sure why. Is it political correctness gone mad? Is it so-called “wokeness”? I don’t know. But one thing I do know, is that more and more men are becoming timid. Of course, I’m not talking about all men. There’s still lots of really masculine men out there, and no, I’m not saying you have to pump iron to be masculine. But I’ve had a few experiences of late that show that some men, especially young men, are severely lacking in confidence.

Last weekend, I was on the street with my 11-year-old son walking to meet my wife and daughter. We were walking along the footpath when we suddenly heard a blood-curdling scream coming from the alleyway up ahead. There was a young man and his girlfriend in front of us who came to an immediate stop upon hearing the scream. Fair enough. Then another scream came, “He’s trying to kill me!”. This couple, ran. I could see the guy’s face as he ran past me. He was scared. I told my son, “I’m going to see what’s going on. Do you want to stay here?”. “No, I’ll come with you.” So my son stayed about two metres behind me as I slowly advanced forward towards the corner of the alleyway. Now don’t get me wrong. This is not me saying that everyone should recklessly charge towards danger, but in this case, the desperate cries of an unknown lady meant that in my mind, I had no other option but to help.

Look, I’m not saying that I’m particularly brave. When I was in high school, I was anything but. I used to go to a boarding school, but I wasn’t a boarder. Most of the boarding students were from the country. They generally had traditional conservative values, they often liked playing rugby league, but one thing they all had in common – they were not cowards.

Anyway, back to the story. Later that afternoon, after the alleyway incident, my children met up with a bunch of their friends. We hung out for a bit, and then all the kids wanted to go to McDonald’s for dinner. The nearest McDonald’s was in a bit of a rough neighbourhood. It’s kind of famous for having lots of youths hanging about out the front. Some of the Mums didn’t really want to go, but the kids hadn’t been there for a long time, so we decided that since it was still day time, it should be fine.

When we arrived, yeah, there were some teenagers hanging out the front, but they were just having fun with their friends and looked pretty harmless. We went in and ordered our food, and my son and I just stood near the counter waiting to pick up our order. There was also another man waiting, probably a guy in his early 20s. I don’t like to use labels, but he was pretty much a stereotypical soy boy. Look, I’m a vegan. I drink soy milk. I appreciate the lifestyle. But I’d like to think that I’m fit, strong and healthy, and certainly don’t think being a vegan is emasculating in any way. But some people seem to take pride in being physically weak and servile. That was this guy.

So anyway, he was waiting for his soy latte or whatever. (By the way, I don’t eat McDonald’s. I was just there looking after the kids). Soon after, a young Aboriginal lady walked in. (Ordinarily, I don’t like pointing out people’s ethnicity, but in this case, it’s relevant to the story). She came up to the guy and asked, “Hey mate. Are you waiting in line?” He replied in almost a grovelling way, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were behind me. I didn’t mean to get in your way. I should have waited over here. Please, you go ahead. I’m so sorry.” He moved aside and let her through. She had a bit of a confused look on her face. She must have ordered online, because she picked up her food straight away. As she turned around to walk out, the guy stepped in front of her and started to apologise again, “I’m so sorry about the misunderstanding before. I really shouldn’t have been standing there. I honestly didn’t mean any offence…” She just replied, “Mate, it’s okay.” and walked out. My son made a very concise comment at the time. These are his exact words, “Cringe.” And he was right. It was completely cringe.

Anyway, what am I trying to say here? Well, we’ve got young men running away from the slightest chance of danger. We’ve got men acting in a weak and subservient manner towards women, which they don’t like, mind you. This is not me endorsing “toxic masculinity”, not at all. This is not me saying that you should never compromise, or never apologise. This is not me saying that you must assert your dominance over a woman. But… It’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to be assertive. It’s okay to be brave and courageous. It’s okay to stand your ground. So, what am I trying to say? It’s okay to be a man, and guess what… Women like it.

MUSIC
Allégro by Emmit Fenn