ag goes to sleep on stage (american art piece)...standup @ native notion

*this is a true story, i get sick of white people talkin politically correct trash about white people as a whole and being such timid little candy asses afraid to offend somebody (example: "let's here it for the vaccine")
no i don't have a "regular phone"
i love my pillows *still a woman
merry xmas, happy kwaanza *stay offended white people
this pillow is my chair
"she sat down" thank you kelsey
all i have to do is be myself and the laughter is just natural
whenever other comics are lacking material which is often...
point at ag and everyone laughs
yours truly has the only "mental illness" that makes any sense
native notion is a really chill weed bar up the street from my job @ sns
this place is as hard to find as regular ass weed used to be
that rain is freaking me out too
weed walmart, that's what it will be
smartphones are legal...silence
free wifi which means crack
women are really good at ruining people's lives
so true that women shouldn't have rights
smartest bitch on planet earth due to the man in my head
real men don't exist anymore
steve jobs is also burning in hell
musical instruments that i can't even play
for the past hundred yrs...this is america
i am the material, very true statement
i am skinny-shamed all the time
don't clap for that plz
and they just keep on eatin'
weak little pansies call themselves recovering alcoholics
colorado sober, mind you
DIE a betes...why are we not allowed to stop people from killing themselves if their drug is food or technology
franklin high was a subject of controversy due to the rebel mascot
kelsey agrees with me
just accept that people hate each other
psych meds are destroying the human psyche and making people docile (prozac=fluoxetine=FLOURIDE)
i would love to make the "news"
i'm trying to help my people by getting em off psych meds
i scold kelsey for not doing enough for the black community
shout out to those raising their kids
a lotta women dunno when their menstrual cycle is...my body/my choice
fuck a real ass man, i am too much of a loner
i never upgraded my phone cos i don't believe in slavery or a cyborg nation
you don't have to suck somebody off to get your drugs when they're in your phone
up all night waiting for wifi, i wish that would happen
i just wanna go home...plz take me now, oh Lord!
i look so friggin cute
A.D.D.=J.B.A. (just being american is attention deficit disorder)
hallucinating is always a possibility
my head is buzzing a lot
i probably appreciate this microphone more than most comics cos we have known since childhood how offensive we are
maybe i sit down in order to stay humble, i dunno
kelsey is defending himself hahaha
he is raising two kids (crazy baby mama) and he coaches football for kids that don't have a father so i was just raggin him, he is truly an amazing human being *and he didn't get offended when i told him about my bit with the n-word so he's a real one