Mixtapian - The Virgin of Guildford

Original upload date: May 24, 2018

Lyrics:

Intro:

Yeah x2

No

Maybe

West side...

Actually, I don't know. I forgot my compass, so I'm not really sure what side I'm on.

But I'll just pick west side cause it sounds cooler

Yeah, I keep it real. 100%

100 emoji

Smoke coming out of nose emoji

Yo, it's your boy, Mixtapian

Yo

I have a yo-yo

Yo, check it

Song:

Some people like to have fun with dildos
But I prefer the comfort of my own pillow

5 minutes is probably all I've lasted
I don't know if girls pee from their vagina or asses
But google said they pee from the urethra
I don't even know what the fuck that is either
The real question is, is it deeper?
I don't know man I'm just a broke job seeker

Just how many holes do these women have?
I never learned cause I was too busy fucking my hand
I email suspicious women on tinder
Then when they reply, I puss out and whimper

I know they're a catfish, but I still wanna catch this
Even if there's a chance I'll be put in a casket
I'm a desperate man just going off on a tangent
Like taking pussy away and saying "you can't have this"
I don't know when my sex life will happen
It'll probably consist of women laughing

The only women who want me are bots
But even they don't want my cock
I should meet up with them to see how it goes
Even if a gun is gonna make my head blow
Cause at least I can say that I got blowed
When in reality I'm just a virgin who happens to have flow

I'm needy and clingy, not in a cute way
I mean in a way that makes the police take me away
Girls don't like that, they don't wanna be a mommy
They don't have time to deal with an obsessive monkey

But instead of flinging shit I'm flinging long texts
I can't flirt for shit, that's the context

Nigga nigga nigga, homosapien
Sorry I just wanted to rhyme with Mixtapian

But yeah like I was saying, being a virgin is my thing
So it's no surprise that I have zero flings
And I'm not gonna lie, Guildford is boring
500 kebab shops but no one is horny

Gotta travel all the way to Parramatta
To have some fun and do shit that matters
Like look at the fountains at Centenary Square
I wanna bring a girl and cuddle her right then and there

During the night while making out in the grass
Making love until midnight has passed
And if I’m that ugly, I’ll put on a mask
Then I’ll be glad that you made me forget my past
Reminding me that I’ve achieved my task
Cause I’ll finally know what it feels like to be a man

Outro:

Ye, I'm a gangster from the streets

Cause when I go outside my house there's a street

Like, outside

So that means I'm a gangster from the streets

I'm making money cause I need money to pay my bills cause paying your bills is gangster

Yeah

West side

Even though Sydney is in the eastern part of Australia, I'm gonna say west side anyway

Yeah, gang shit

And I don't even know what west side means

The instrumental background music is "Candy Shop" by 50 cent.