Equality Is Not Enough! – The Rise of the Arm Heads

This is the story about a group of people who were universally discriminated against throughout history, but in the face of adversity, they fought back and achieved the most equality that any group has every achieved. This group of historically marginalised people look pretty much like you and me except for one glaring difference, they have a supernumerary arm growing out of their head. Colloquially, they have been referred to as “armheads”, and this is their story.

Around the 1860s, these nations finally came to their senses and made it illegal to hold a armhead against their will for the purposes of forced labour. “All armheads are, and henceforward shall be free.”

In the 1950s, armheads were finally allowed to attend normal schools alongside regular children. Many friendships grew between the two different groups as they were now allowed to socialise with one another.

In 1968, New York state was the first state to legalise marriage between armheads and regular folk. Over the following years, this spread to other states and soon became federal law. Due to these changes, the number of armheads rose from 2% of the population to 5% in a short space of time.

In 1982, armheads finally achieved equality under the law. It was now illegal to discriminate against armheads for any reason. Armheads across America breathed a collective sigh of relief. They had finally achieved what they had been fighting for all these years. By 1985, many countries across the world had followed suit. Armheads everywhere were finally free.

By 1986, despite having achieved equality, some armheads didn’t feel quite right. They felt that the word “armhead” was being used in a derogatory way towards them and had negative historical connotations. For this reason, they pushed for the term ‘armhead’ to be replaced with the more inclusive “Limb-diverse” terminology. The organisation was renamed to the Limb-Diverse ARM Movement, or LDARM for short.

By the late 80s, the term ‘armhead’ fell out of favour, and was now considered taboo. People referred to it as simply the a-word, and a campaign was run to stop people from using it. The more inclusive “limb-diverse” terminology was used instead.

During the 1990s, more and more companies were encouraging limb-diverse people to join their ranks to fight limbism.

In 2003, the first limb-diverse governor, Governor Harold Dover, was elected in the state of Vermont.

In 2011, the first limb-diverse CEO was appointed to a Fortune 500 company.

By 2023, more and more people were identifying as limb-diverse, even though they didn’t actually have a limb on their head. However, the believed that they should have been born with a limb, and felt that it was their natural state of being. Consequently, “I” was added to the acronym to represent those people that “identified” as limb-diverse. Colloquially, they were now known as LDIARMs.

In 2026, it was found that 12% of the population now identified as limb-diverse (up from 5%).

In 2028, the first limb-diverse president was elected to the United States. 48th U.S. President Wilson J Cooper had performed his limb-attachment surgery one year prior and promised to “finally and conclusively” bring equality to limb-diverse Americans.

In 2030, psychologists identified a group of people, who although didn’t have a limb on their head, they questioned whether they should, causing an identity conflict. Consequently, “Q” was added to the acronym to represent those people that “questioned” their lack of limb-diversity. Colloquially, they were now known as LDIQARMs.

In 2031, it was found that some people actually had a supernumerary leg on their heads instead of an arm. Although very rare, to be completely inclusive, the acronym was changed to LDIQLARM.

By 2033, 62% of politicians now identified as limb-diverse and created many more laws to protect the rights of limb-diverse people.

Due to the new, more inclusive definition, by 2035, the limb-diverse community grew from 12% of the population to a staggering 27% of people who were now identifying as limb-diverse! This was the most inclusive time in history.

A 2037 report showed that despite only 27% of the population identifying as limb-diverse, they now made up over 93% of professional employees. A remarkable 96% of university graduates were now limb-diverse. By contrast, only 1% of blue-collar jobs were held by limb-diverse people. This was a huge win for limb diversity!

But despite this, a survey conducted worldwide in 2039 found that 83% of roundheads had Negative, or Very Negative sentiment towards the LDIQPLARM+ community. But why? We’re their doctors. We’re their lawyers. We’re their politicians. We’re their university professors. We are one of the most successful diversity groups in history. We’ve achieved astronomical levels of equality where we are now more equal than anybody in human history. Yet, it begs the question: “Why do they still hate us?”.

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Allégro by Emmit Fenn