Rewriting Chris Rock's set to say what he wants to say

Let’s talk about tough guy will Smith and the slap.

Comedians don’t fight with fists!  We fight with jokes!  My turn Will Smith.

*”I want to set the record straight.  I did not attack Jada.  I complimented her.  I never said Will’s trophy wife now looks like a trophy!

*I would understand if I said something like hey Jada…Will…you suck my dick?”.

*I did not disrespect his wife sexually…and I’m the only one who didn’t!!!

I would never hit on his wife with our without the me too movement.  Men can’t flirt with women without thinking about me too.  

Too Will Smith, me too is what all Jada’s sons friends be saying to Jada.  Hey Jada!  Meeeee toooo

*Jada admitted to cheating with a rapper named “August”…You know they were laughing bout Summer Summer Summertime.  

*Before getting Jiggy with it, August was probably tugging on that head singing “just a little something to break the monotony…am i right?”

That ain’t alepecia, that’s just August rubbing her head!  Bye felicia with your alopecia.

*Listen sweetie…Wear a wig if you’re embarrassed…you know you would look pretty and be more comfortable.  That comment was directed at Will Smith…always cucking around

Tough guy Will is cucking around.  He’s hoping she’s impressed because he has an Oscar

In the meantime she had two Oscars last week!

*Will Smith is a huge movie star.  Bad Boys.  Men in Black.  6 Degrees of Separation.  Independence Day.

All of a sudden bad boys running up in the wife of the men in black.  

Now What Will Smith needs is a 6 degrees of separation and an independence day!

*Hancock is no longer a movie…it’s what happens when August reached for Jada’s ass and Will was sitting too close!

But tough guy Will’s still there…cucking around

I don’t think it’s fair Will is being fazed put of movies because he slapped me.  Matter of fact there’s one movie that Will Smith should be a shoe in for.  The remake of Tarzan, because he already has the swinging down!

If Will is Tarzan I would say Jada could play Jane…we’ll call her GI Jane.  Whatever you do, don’t say the word “Jane” to Tarzan…he gets really mad.  

*Maybe he’s Jaded…literally…who wouldn’t be when your wife shows everyone her Pinkett?  Put your Pinkett away!  

*and yet will still there…like a male version of Hillary Clinton where Jada is Bill…cheatin’ all over the world.

Hillary ain’t a rapper but I don’t need madame secretary mad at me for making jokes.  No No.  Hillary if you’re listening…I’m sorry…and by the way Will Smith has information that will lead to your arrest!

*Will Smith.  You smacked me once.  I want to thank you, because now I get to smack back for the rest of my life.  Never smack a comedian!  

To all the Hollywood creeps who clapped, your asses are next!  I’m out!