HOGWARTS LEGACY | Pt.1: Last Name: “Wizard”, First Name: “That” (PS5 Gameplay, 1080p60)

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to "That Wizard Game", which is a Video Game about triggering insufferable weirdo anger addicts who spend their days stirring up nonexistent 'controversy' because they're miserable people who hate everything around them almost as much as they hate themselves and desperately crave any excuse to harass normal people who don't care about them or their asinine virtue signaling and just want to live their lives and be left the hell alone. This concept is utterly foreign and only serves to drive them even further into delusional, apoplectic screeching temper tantrums, which, in their 'unique' philosophy, is believed to be a show of dominance and reasonable adult behavior. Thus, upon seeing the mildly amused chuckles of relatively sane onlookers as we shake our heads in a moment of pity, apathy, and/or contempt before returning to our lives, soon to forget that they ever existed- much like the universe at large- the embers of their impotent rage is stoked yet further, and so, the cycle continues ever onward- an endless downward spiral of increasingly pitiful, absurd, frothing zealotry, doomed to an eternity of self-inflicted misery and bitterness amidst an infinite, uncaring cosmos, in which their names and deeds will forever go unnoticed.

Which brings us to HOGWARTS LEGACY.

Which is a video game about magical teenagers using the power of friendship to overcome hatred, battle racial/cultural prejudice, and generally defeat evil- all while studying for their O.W.L.'s (Ordinary Wizarding Levels), because- remember, kids- a solid education, while not absolutely necessary, does indeed provide a firm foundation for future success in life. Also, winners DON'T use dark magic or potions in excess.

Yes. Much 'controversial'. Much 'problematic'. Much 'bigotry'. Oh, goodness. Surely, this will be the final straw. At long last, my membership to the cool kids club shall be officially revoked, and, look though they may, none will ever find me again. Alas, billions of loyal friends and viewers (and thanks for stopping by!), we had a good run, but all things must end... sigh... single, manly tear... and on that note... See ya, Space Cowboy...

Lolol... I'm sorry... I can't... oh man... what a world... good times...

ANYWAY...

So, despite, or actually in large part because of, certain people- who still haven't figured out the 'Streisand Effect'- trying and failing spectacularly to get it 'cancelled', HOGWARTS LEGACY, if you hadn't heard, has been a *massive* success, already selling something like 12 MILLION copies in under a month (for perspective, that's more than Dark Souls 4- I mean Elden Ring- sold in the past year- like 'all the time it's been out', not just 2023), receiving overwhelmingly positive reviews, not only from actual human beings, but even many Games 'Journalists', who, as we all know, are rather like the Ringwraiths from Lord of the Rings, occupying some wretched existence between life and death, enslaved to the will of The Dark Lord. And, of course, best of all, causing much of the previously discussed apoplectic, impotent rage fits from weirdos who refuse to mind their own god damn business, because they hate their lives- but then, I would too.

So that's just swell, and arguably deserving of 70 of my hard earned- or fairly easily earned, if I'm honest- good AMERICAN Dollars based on that alone.

Which is why I bought it.

Yes, really. I gladly spent $70 out of sheer spite just to make busybody woke jackoffs who want to ruin people's lives over a Video Game cry even more. I'm not sorry. The salt must flow.

BUT, as an added bonus, HOGWARTS LEGACY is actually a pretty dope game. Despite buying it weeks ago, I've only gotten to play for an hour or so, but I'm already digging it. Now that I've gotten some stuff straightened out (it's a long story) I'll definitely be playing more- though I may have recently acquired something else that may prove interesting, but we'll get to that later- and probably streaming it.

SO...

Overall, whether you're a 90's kid who grew up with Harry Potter for years, someone who liked those Fantastic Beasts movies (probably because of Johnny Depp, who was great and deserves Justice), or even a 'real adult' with a family and job and 'responsibilities' and stuff (in which case, how in God's name did you get here? I'm genuinely curious.) with no time for silly fanciful tales of wizards and such nonsense and thus know nothing about any of this stuff- regardless, between the amazing visuals, surprisingly charming cast of characters, and magical laser beam pew pew action battles, there's plenty to enjoy for everyone! Unless you're one of *those people*. Which you're not. I know- you're better than that. Believe it. ;D

Let's do this...

TONIGHT... on "Kyle Plays the Video Games"!
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