What Is Transactional and Attitudinal Forgiveness?
Transactional forgiveness can only happen if a person is asking: the person asks, and you grant it. I do not see how you can dispense forgiveness willy-nilly, as that is inconsistent with the gospel: "If we confess, ask, seek forgiveness, then we receive forgiveness." It seems wrongheaded to "extend it" when nobody or anyone is asking.
Attitudinal forgiveness is a "heart of forgiveness." Transactional forgiveness cleans up the mess because both folks what to clean it up; they are willing and active participants; attitudinal forgiveness keeps the victim from being incarcerated for what the offender did to them and is not dependent on any action from the offender.
There are several reasons for attitudinal forgiveness:
1. When the offender is no longer alive, i.e., I cannot transact forgiveness from my drunk daddy because he died before I was a Christian. Still, I didn't want to be incarcerated by his meanness, so I pleaded with God to give me a heart of forgiveness.
2. When the offender is alive but unwilling to repent, I don't want to be in bondage to their sin though they choose to stay in bondage. Thus, I must have a heart of forgiveness toward them.
3. When it's impossible to pursue forgiveness, i.e., asking a sexually violated person to meet with the violator. I would not set up that meeting because it's unwise and careless to insist the victim meet with the victimizer.
Thus, there are times when the offended needs to seek freedom attitudinally despite the offender's negative response, resistance, or reconciliation. However, when the offender does want forgiveness (truly genuine), they can transact it.
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