DaamnDailyReflections 1-20-23 w #DaamnKam

RecoveryIsDiscoveryIsRecovery Freedom In Recovery: an ongoing narrative by DaamnKam
(recoveryISdiscoveryISrecoveryISofDaamnTalkISrecoveryISdiscoveryISrecoveryIsDiscovery)
Insert foot-notes ( defining ‘*’ Index?
‘ Us *Addicts, like the rest of the population, make daily decisions about what to allow in - & what to keep at bay. These choices, often appearing inconsequential, bring us one step closer to the life we want to lead - or one step closer to the hell we’ve crawled out from. Pain & misery aren’t exclusively reserved for addicts. That our everyday choices shape the lives we’ll live for years to come, that’s not unique either, as everyone dances with their fate in a similar fashion. What is the exception is the crucial neuro-spiritual difference noticeable within an addict’s framework. One that separates those who occasionally indulge in ‘a few too many’, from those of us who’ve had ‘many too few!’ This differential between *Addicts & *Normies is accompanied by the addiction’s bestest ‘ol buds, ‘mental obsession’ & ‘unstable compulsion’! oh, & ‘physical dependency’ showed up to the party about the time ‘homelessness’ kicked in the door to find ‘liability’ ‘poppin ‘financial security’ where it hurt. & the inability to refrain from our perceived *cure. ‘ =
(*The following excerpts from the origional draft on #July2020)
‘I came across my ‘90 day *’sobriety birthday card
while in the midst of cleaning out my ‘ol Chevy ‘Purp.
So much has transpired since then.
Many memories made; friends acquainted-
-Experiences, Joy & Love felt, & yes, tears shed.
*All in the absence of Heroin! *Absent alcohol!
*Without any simple sinister switches to another substances.
For years & years, Ive learned and re-learned – (& re-re-learned)
-that my recovery is distinctly correlated to my spiritual condition.
The state of My Spiritual condition, however easy to read,
isn’t as easily traced back to source. Especially for us in *Addiction
-- -- -- -- -- (end excerpt) -- -- -- -- --
In ‘Narcotics Anonymous’, they say,
“We used to live and we lived to use”.
There’s no denying recovery is rich with cliches.
‘It works if You work it – so work it’
‘Principals Not Personalities’
‘Hurt people hurt people’
Despite any ‘whimsy’,
cliches can be true.
(We’re proof!)

We’re pretty sure this one’s a song lyric, not a cliché,
‘It’s a problem when your addicted to the cure’,
but it may as well be hung inside the door of your local ‘clubhouse’.
Through our attempts at evading reality, we were feeding the hungry ghosts within us,
consequently starving any desirable, capable versions of ourselves. By continuing to implement what we’d settled on as our ‘solution’ to life’s problems, using our ‘drugs’ of choice, we were unconsciously reinforcing the very self-talk that we despised! An inner dialogue that dictates our emotions & behaviors, for those with clinical addiction, our *Self-talk feeds us false narrative after false narrative which usually result in the behaviors that manifest as the symptoms of the disease.
How unfortunate is it that for what we have in self-deceit
We make up for in a lack of the very self-awareness that would allow us to recognize this hellish cycle.
Unable to refer to our experience for any self-knowledge that would aid us in the realization that self-control is not our primary problem. We were self-conscious about our self-centered, self-serving ways, but lacked the self-esteem necessary to achieve the self-discipline required for the self-sacrifice of our own self-destruction. That until we’re willing to admit our powerlessness, to uncover the truth that resides in the essence of our being, shot through the very fabric of our souls, as present in our day-to-day as the lenses with which we view the world… only when we do that… own our disease rather than get
owned by our disease. Only then is anything resembling Self-mastery a remote possibility!’
(We told you… it’s a very selfish disease.) -DaamnKam
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