Talk 62: Adultery: Which is Better, Divorce or Forgiveness?

Orthodox Talks by Priestmonk Kosmas, Sydney, Australia
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There can be no doubt that an all-out war is being waged against the holy sacrament of marriage. One of the main threats facing marriage is adultery, which is presented to us as normal and enjoyable, even a path to freedom and happiness. This message is emphasized in films, on television, in books and magazines, and on the internet. Online pornography, social networks such as Facebook, and even websites dedicated to cheating on your spouse all help to encourage adultery and the breakup of the marriage.

In this talk, Father Kosmas draws on the writings and advice of various saints and contemporary elders to present the Orthodox Church’s teaching on adultery, its causes, and ways of preventing it. In addition, he answers the question of whether it is better to divorce or to forgive one’s spouse who has fallen into the serious sin of adultery, and what the adulterer’s attitude should be. By knowing the Church’s view on adultery and divorce, many marriages can be saved.

The following questions are also discussed: how do adultery and other serious sins affect one’s marriage and children? How does the Church penance adulterers? What is the Church’s attitude toward those who cause divorce? How can abortion, unnatural sexual acts, and other serious sins lead to divorce? Why did Saint Nikodemos the Hagiorite place some blame on the innocent spouse of the adulterer? What did Elder Paisios say of spiritual fathers who apply the canons strictly?

Other points covered in this talk include: the sufferings adultery brings upon a couple and their children; an account of a soldier whose wife gave birth while he was away; God’s gift to a man who prayed for his wife who had become a prostitute; a saint who left his wife because of adultery; how a woman dealt with her openly adulterous husband; an account of a married couple who secretly fantasised about committing adultery; how pornography can lead to adultery and divorce; and Saint John Chrysostom’s condemnation of adultery as evil and deserving of great punishment.