Talk 54: The Saints and Elders on Married Life

Orthodox Talks by Priestmonk Kosmas, Sydney, Australia
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Many Orthodox Christians today obtain most of their information on married life from television, films, secular books and magazines, and the internet. Unfortunately, much of this information is incorrect and can not only be harmful to the marriage, but can even cause the loss of one’s salvation. Thanks be to God, there are a number of Orthodox books on married life which offer essential advice on this much-neglected subject.

In this talk, Father Kosmas uses the writings and advice of various saints and contemporary elders to present the Orthodox Church’s teaching on the topic of married life. He especially focuses on the relationship between husband and wife, and how many problems between them can be avoided with a proper understanding of Orthodox marriage.

The following questions are also discussed: how did some elders advise young men who were afraid of marrying women with faults? Why did an elder react negatively to the belief that couples need to have similar personalities and interests to have a successful marriage? What advice was given to a woman whose husband avoided coming home at night? How important is it for couples to have priests and monastics praying for them? Why is it so difficult for a married couple to pray together? How important is the spiritual father in a marriage?

Other points covered in this talk include: an elder’s reaction to a man who “worshipped” his wife; an elder’s advice to a man whose wife disliked incense and the oil lamp; some important things to consider before marriage; why it is good for a person to marry young; how serious passions can affect a marriage; a saint’s advice to a woman to choose the lesser sin; how the remembrance of one’s own sins can be very beneficial to one’s marriage; and the false belief that the initial love in a marriage will continue without any effort.