Edging Transformed My Sex Life - Here's How

1 year ago
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What’s edging, and what’s it for?

Edging (also called surfing, peaking, teasing, and more) is the practice of stopping yourself from reaching orgasm right when you’re on the cusp — the metaphorical “edge” right before you fall off the cliff into sexual climax.

This practice has grown trendy in sexual health discussions as a form of “better orgasms,” but it’s actually more than a half-century-old treatment for premature ejaculation. In a 1956 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, James H. Semans introduced the “stop-start method” to help people last longer before reaching orgasm.

Essentially, this means stopping sexual stimulation before you come, waiting about 30 seconds, and then stimulating yourself again, repeating until you’re ready to orgasm.

It sounds like a quick win for better sex, but edging is more like a marathon. You can’t race your way to lasting longer in bed or having a better orgasm, as some who practice this claim.

On a more holistic level, edging can make you more keenly aware of your own sexual responses both solo and with a partner, bringing mindfulness into the bedroom.

Orgasms 101: What you need to know before you start edging
“Experimentation is absolutely essential for a healthy sex life,” says Liz Klinger, co-founder and CEO of Lioness, a smart vibrator, to Healthline. She believes that having a greater awareness of how your body responds can help take the “edge” out of the anxiety that can arise in your sex life.

And when it comes to edging, you’re also learning about the four stages of arousal. Knowing these can help you narrow down when to stop and start stimulation:

Excitement. Your skin starts to flush, your muscles get tense, your heartbeat gets faster, blood starts to flow quickly down to your penis or clitoris and vagina. The vagina gets wet and the scrotum withdraws.
Plateau. Everything that happened in stage 1 gets even more intense. You feel yourself drawing closer and closer to orgasm. This is the stage where you should get ready to stop or slow down stimulation.
Orgasm. A series of nerve and muscle responses occur, resulting in a feeling of ecstasy, increased lubrication in the vagina, and ejaculation of semen from the penis. But when you’re practicing edging, this is the stage you’re trying to avoid until ready.
Resolution. After orgasm, tissues return to their non-aroused sizes and colors, and all your vitals normalize, too. This is also when the refractory period starts. It’s a temporary stretch of time where you can’t get aroused again. It can last for a few minutes up to a few days or longer.
The particular feelings you get during these four stages aren’t the same for everyone, though.

“Studies and literature support that one of the best indicators of a satisfying sex life is to masturbate and self-explore,” Klinger says. “If you don’t get to know your body and practice different techniques, you won’t know or become accustomed to your own body, which can affect your personal satisfaction, your health, and your relationship with your partner.”

5 ways to try edging at home
If you’re interested in edging, start by focusing intently on what you feel right before orgasming and staying in that stage between plateau and orgasm. The key is to listen to your body and recognize your signs. It may take trial and error, and that’s OK.

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