The Kaufman Institute for Coincidence

Are you or a loved one suffering from a medical coincidence? You want proper medical care, but you don’t want people sniffing around asking a whole bunch of questions about what might be causing your problem. At the Kaufman Institute for Coincidence we won’t look into the cause of your heart or other problem, we’ll just fix it. That’s right, we promise to only look at your symptoms. We won’t get all curious looking for causes, because that could get your employer, or your doctor, into some legal hot water. And nobody wants that! At Kaufman, we understand that coincidence is now the leading cause of death. And if we want to operate at the speed of science, there’s no time for looking for causes. That’s right, no pesky questions about drugs or vaccines you might have been given. At Kaufman, we specialize in the effects and leave the causes to the conspiracy theorists. And let’s be honest, we know the cause anyway. It was a coincidence, right? For each new patient, Kaufman’s talented team of doctors strap on their blinders and look directly at the problem area, usually the heart, just like the CDC recommends. Our main campus now treats the following coincidences:
-myocarditis
-blood clots
-heart arrhythmia
-stroke
-heart attack
-magnetic skin
-difficulty breathing
-full body blisters and burning
-convulsions
-kidney failure
-memory loss
-cancer
-sudden death
-and much much more

Give your coincidence the attention it deserves, but not the wrong kind of attention, at Kaufman. Schedule your appointment today at KaufmanCoincidence.com and receive a doctor’s note with real sciency sounding explanation to provide to your anti-vax friends, proving to them it was definitely not the vaccine that caused your coincidence. Kaufman: Because coincidences happen… pretty much all the time.

Official Medical Coincidence partner of the NFL.