While at the mall

So, I was at the mall the other day and I saw this guy wearing a shirt that said "I'm not short, I'm fun-sized." And I was like, dude, if you have to say it, you're probably short.

I mean, think about it. If you're truly confident in your height, you shouldn't have to qualify it. You should just be comfortable with it and move on. It's like when people say "I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned." No, you're fat. Just admit it and maybe try hitting the gym.

And have you ever noticed how people are always saying "I'm not rude, I'm just direct"? It's like, if you have to explain it, you're probably rude. It's like when someone says "I'm not annoying, I'm just energetic." No, you're annoying.