30 german jokes

Joke number 1:
What's the difference between a dog and a German?
The dog barks, but the German raps.

Joke number 2:
Why do Germans always have money in their pockets?
Because they're afraid it will be stolen from them.

Joke number 3:
What's the difference between a German and a wardrobe?
The wardrobe has doors, the German only has one door.

Joke number 4:
Why do Germans always have a bottle of beer with them?
Because they're afraid the beer will run out.

Joke number 5:
What's the difference between a German and a tree?
The tree grows, the German comes.

Joke number 6:
Why do Germans always have a bratwurst with them?
Because they're afraid the sausage will run out.

Joke number 7:
What's the difference between a German and a bucket?
The bucket holds water, the German holds his breath.

Joke number 8:
Why do Germans always have a clock with them?
Because they're afraid the time will run out.

Joke number 9:
What's the difference between a German and a chair?
The chair has four legs, the German only has two.

Joke number 10:
Why do Germans always have a camera with them?
Because they're afraid the memories will run out.

Joke number 11:
Why do Germans always have a map with them?
Because they're afraid of getting lost.

Joke number 12:
What's the difference between a German and a tomato?
The tomato turns red when it's ripe, the German turns red when he's angry.

Joke number 13:
Why do Germans always have an umbrella with them?
Because they're afraid the weather will fall on their head.

Joke number 14:
What's the difference between a German and an apple?
The apple falls from the tree, the German falls off his bike.

Joke number 15:
Why do Germans always have a knife with them?
Because they're afraid their food will be taken away.

Joke number 16:
What's the difference between a German and a cucumber?
The cucumber is green, the German is green behind the ears.

Joke number 17:
Why do Germans always have pliers with them?
Because they're afraid their fingers will fall off.

Joke number 18:
What's the difference between a German and cheese?
The cheese is sliced, the German is snapped.

Joke number 19:
Why do Germans always have a screwdriver with them?
Because they're afraid the screws will run out.

Joke number 20:
What's the difference between a German and a fence?
The fence keeps the animals out, the German keeps the neighbors in.

Joke number 21:
Why do Germans always have a hammer with them?
Because they're afraid their ideas will run out.

Joke number 22:
What's the difference between a German and a butterfly?
The butterfly flies, the German drives.

Joke number 23:
Why do Germans always have scissors with them?
Because they're afraid their hair will run out.

Joke number 24:
What's the difference between a German and a castle?
The castle has keys, the German has a key card.

Joke number 25:
Why do Germans always have a sewing needle with them?
Because they're afraid their clothes will fall apart.

Joke number 26:
What's the difference between a German and a car?
The car has wheels, the German has a suitcase with wheels.

Joke number 27:
Why do Germans always have a saw with them?
Because they're afraid the trees will run out.

Joke number 28:
What's the difference between a German and a mountain?
The mountain has a peak, the German has a summit conference.

Joke number 29:
Why do Germans always have a ladder with them?
Because they're afraid their ideas will climb into their head.

Joke number 30:
What's the difference between a German and a giraffe?
The giraffe has a long neck, the German has a long skirt.