20 scottish jokes

Joke number 1:
Why was the Scottish football team so bad at scoring goals?
Because every time they got a corner, they opened a pub!Show more

Joke number 2:
Why did the Scottish man wear a kilt to his wedding?
Because he was "wee-d" to it!

Joke number 3:
Why was the Scottish man's garden always in perfect shape?
Because he had a "tater-tot" of pride!

Joke number 4:
Why did the Scottish man start a band?
Because he was "fiddle-dee-dee" with excitement!

Joke number 5:
Why did the Scottish man refuse to eat haggis?
Because he was "neeps" about it!

Joke number 6:
Why did the Scottish man become a bartender?
Because he was "wee-d" to pouring drinks!

Joke number 7:
Why did the Scottish man always carry an umbrella?
Because he was "dreich" on rainy days!

Joke number 8:
Why did the Scottish man never wear socks?
Because he was "bare-fit" for them!

Joke number 9:
Why did the Scottish man refuse to eat broccoli?
Because it was "neeps" to him!

Joke number 10:
Why did the Scottish man wear a kilt to his job interview?
Because he wanted to "wee-d" out the competition!

Joke number 11:
Why did the Scottish man start a book club?
Because he was "bonnie" for reading!

Joke number 12:
Why did the Scottish man refuse to play poker?
Because he was "neeps" about being bluffed!

Joke number 13:
Why did the Scottish man refuse to eat at fancy restaurants?
Because he was "neeps" about the prices!

Joke number 14:
Why did the Scottish man refuse to go bungee jumping?
Because he was "neeps" about the height!

Joke number 15:
Why did the Scottish man start a band?
Because he was "fiddle-dee-dee" with excitement!

Joke number 16:
Why did the Scottish man become a carpenter?
Because he was "wee-d" to working with wood!

Joke number 17:
Why did the Scottish man start a bakery?
Because he was "bonnie" for baking!

Joke number 18:
Why did the Scottish man start a garden?
Because he was "tater-tot" about growing his own vegetables!

Joke number 19:
Why did the Scottish man start a brewery?
Because he was "wee-d" to making his own beer!

Joke number 20:
Why did the Scottish man start a winery?
Because he was "wee-d" to making his own wine!