2 years ago

Eye: Angela Verkade
We've opened our eyes
Oil on wood
20x20cm

Story of Angela,

All my life I was different, I act and react differently. When everyone says straight ahead... I find a side path that is much more interesting and so I also like people who are 'different'.
I want to know how they speak and why they think and act differently, perhaps in search of myself...recognition?

My process really started when my son turned out to be 'different', a very wise and smart old soul but also very sensitive just like me. My son forced me to investigate myself further...also because stress caused me to have physical complaints. That is how I came into contact with Chinese medicine and Taiji, and it felt like coming home.

My marriage was already bad and became worse as I slowly figured that I was dealing with a man with hidden narcissistic characteristics and after he physically abused me I decided to make myself stronger and more resilient, financially independent, and mentally stronger. After years of no love and spiritual belittling, a man showed me that I am a beautiful attractive woman. Yet there was my fear of the unknown, the future, could I do it?

In 2019 my father became seriously ill and was dying in the hospital, we discussed life and when I got home I thought about these conversations. He had a very good marriage with my mother and told her about it and his pride in me and my son. What if I'm lying there and someone asks me how I've experienced my life? I translated my answer into a conversation (for the umpteenth time) with my husband. After those conversations, it turned out that we completely lost each other and I told them that I wanted a divorce.

All hell broke loose, my son was turned against me and kept away. A lot has happened in 2.5 years and it's still not over yet.
My salary was stopped (we had several companies together) and made deals with customers, and accountants, so that money was withheld. I was forced to leave the house. I didn't see my son for 8 months and then under the supervision and now again not.

All my studies literally opened my eyes and showed my powers and potential, when I had nothing left I was literally free! Free to start over with no baggage. My fear had turned out to be unfounded, I still existed and I was still alive. I was helped by clients and friends and saw my family again. Got in touch with former friends because my ex-husband had managed to isolate me quite a bit over years. When you're in it... your fear is fed and you don't see the movements. When you step out of the circle, everything becomes more and more clear.

After my divorce, I was in a relationship for 1.5 years with a man who had signs of overt narcissism. He lied and cheated, had contacts with other women, etc., and used the same tactics and techniques. I understood him quickly but he also helped me ... there it was, where my loyalty is, backbone, my own standards, and values and what am I worth?

Corona had already started and I was starting to recognize the structures, the indoctrination, lying, cheating, manipulating, cornering, and cutting off the road. Everything I had experienced in the small cosmos was magnified in the large cosmos.

I have always resisted in my relationships where these practices were practiced, but could never put my finger on it and blamed myself for my failure and reaction. No, my instinct was perfect but my mind was very confused from the mental abuse for years and years.

What is happening in the world now strengthens my convictions and to keep fighting, to keep warning people, to keep my back straight. From a distance, I can see what is going on and try to act with love but with the facts both in the big and in the small world because there too my struggle for my son continues out of love and without hatred towards his father.
Furthermore, my connection with nature is strong again like when I was a child, and I delve deeper and deeper into Taoism.

A long story about myself which I normally don't like to do. When your post came across about eyes, I thought it was interesting from an iridology perspective, which I trained in. Eyes can say a lot about a person...if you know how to look, about health but also how someone is.

Sometimes I have to do something with someone I meet or see something from someone, I never know what but there is a lesson in it. Later I will know and that makes it beautiful and special. That's what I like about life, something special often comes your way when you want to see if the time is there to see it. So is this time too, mighty interesting because how are these people ticking who set all this in motion? How will the world develop and is there a lot of connection between the 'awake' people? So I'm at the beginning of my story because these people are different and that's beautiful.

Love,
Angela Verkade

More information about this art project or interested in participating 👇🏼
https://www.debbievervoort.com/project-info

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