1 year ago

THE BIGGEST SECRET
Just get a little closer because I'm about to tell you a secret. It's a major secret, so I'll have to ask you, kindly, not to tell anyone. You have my full confidence in this.
I work with folks one-on-one a lot, and sometimes they'll tell me after a session or later, "I can't believe you made me do..." or "I can't believe you changed me," etc.
And I've told them before a session that I can't force them do anything they don't want to do because they are the ones who have to work hard here.
The problem is that if you did tell anyone, especially a therapist, you might destroy their ego and they might not be as willing to learn this little secret as you are.
People frequently utter the phrase "You formed me" throughout life, not simply in therapy sessions.
You've probably heard individuals say, "You forced me to lose that," "You forced me to abandon that," and "You forced me to experience that." Certainly, I have. In fact, I'm sure I've said similar things before, and I probably still do occasionally.
You see, I don't really make you do anything as a therapist. You are not under my control to do something you don't want to. If I could, I would have already retired as the world's most renowned therapist!I just act as a guide; a facilitator if you like, helping to get you to your chosen destination.

When you go on a car journey somewhere unfamiliar you take a map book right? (And yes, for our more modern and technically astute readers you may be using Satellite Navigation, but some of us still use maps, so just substitute Sat Nav for map here.:) )

Does the map book get you there?
No. It does not.
You use the map book and it guides you there. It tells you the route to take, but you actually get yourself there.

You could ditch the map and just go by gut instinct, but it’ll probably take you much longer to get there, if you got there at all. And who knows where you would end up on route!

This is how it works with therapy sessions.

The therapist is the map, and you are the driver.
As a therapist, I use my skills, my knowledge and my experience to guide you safely through the quagmire to your chosen destination. You could make the journey yourself, and some people do, but it can take longer and be a much more treacherous route.
Of course, this doesn’t just apply to therapists though; it can apply to any area of your life. You can use the knowledge and experience of experts to get you to your goal quicker.
If you take up a new hobby or sport, you don’t tend to sit in a corner and try to work it all out yourself. You will normally go for lessons or at the very least get a book by an expert. When you start a new job, you are generally taught by an “expert”; someone who already knows the ropes.
In effect, you model the expert, learn how they do it and then do the same. Kids do it all the time. It’s how they learn. Ever noticed how your kids always pick up those annoying habits from you; the ones you really didn’t want them to have?
For modelling to be truly effective, instead of just copying what a person is doing, you must learn what is going on in their heads and copy that too. You need to understand their mental processes in order to effectively model their results.
If you are learning to break a wooden plank with your bare hands, it’s no good thinking about your shopping list whilst going through the motions. You have to copy the mental processes and then you will shatter the wood.
Whatever your goals in life, use a “map book”
#God has a message for you today.
what is god's message for you
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