Death by Derivatives

Monetize carbon? So, I want to cut down the old tree on the back 5 acre lot because it is old, rotten, and the kids play around it. Plus it would work well for firewood the next winter. I fire up the chain saw and the neighbor calls in the carbon police. They tell me I have NO permit to cut down my own tree. I'm charged with a carbon violation. The local Carbon Commissar issues me a fine and gives me a stack of applications to request a permit to cut down my own tree. The applications are filled out and months later nothing has been approved. Winter is approaching. Finally I see the light and slip a substantial little gift under the table to the local Carbon Commissar. Magically the Permit is approved and I'm finally able to cut down MY tree. You see, with the system these Global Elites are trying to put in place that is NOT my tree! It is theirs, which they have appropriated with the global system they have put in place. Be warned!