Kittens grow up so fast

Kittens grow up so fast. It seems like just the other day they were opening their eyes for the first time, or finally getting big enough that you were no longer worried about their mother eating them. But before you know it, it’s time for “The Talk.” Puberty can be a strange and confusing time for kittens. Humans are bewildered by the experience with an entire dozen years to prepare—kittens enter puberty at as young as four months old!
Almost universally, cat owners report that talking to their pets about puberty and sex is awkward and uncomfortable; sometimes owners even put it off in hopes that their kitten will learn what they need to know at school instead. But think for a moment: if American schoolteachers are unable to hang a copy of the Ten Commandments on the wall, or lead your kitten in prayer, how do you expect them to be able to teach your kitten what they really need to know? The fact of the matter is, as unpleasant as having the conversation may be, no one can talk to your cat about puberty the way you can. The good news is that it’s easier than you think! Every day we hear from cat owners who are worried about saying the wrong thing. Such fears are almost always ungrounded: you’ll be fine as long as you explain to your kitten that the changes they’re experiencing are a normal part of growing up that every cat goes through, and that any sexual urges they might be experiencing are sinful and wrong and if they act on them they’ll become dirty in a way they can never lick clean. With these two lessons as your foundation, you can’t pawsibly go wrong!
I have a female kitten. Are there any special challenges my cat will face during her development?
Puberty can be an especially difficult time for female cats. Girl kittens often begin to mature several months before their male counterparts. This difference in physical development can lead to uncomfortable moments around the litter box when they feel as if all eyes are upon their strange new body. Puberty is hard enough for your little purrincess without her feeling as if she’s the only one it’s happening to! It’s important to talk to your cat early on and reassure her that even though it might be happening at a different pace, puberty is something that all cats experience, and feeling self-conscious is completely natural. Unfortunately, this awkwardness will be nothing compared to when your female kitten goes into heat for the first time! Going into heat is the cat version of getting a period and is how God punishes girl cats for Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden. Just like human women, cats in heat will behave in erratic or irrational ways as their brain becomes addled with female hormones. Unlike humans, cats in heat will become obsessed with mating. If you have an inside cat, she will be purrsistent in her attempts to get out, to say the least! It is essential that when your little kitten goes into heat, you keep her inside so as to protect her purity. She will be confused—and possibly scared—the first time this happens. When it finally does, you just need to give her lots of cuddles and love and let her know that even though it’s furightening, the overwhelming devil-inspired madness within her will be over soon.
What about boy kittens?