#Suboxone appointment- mis-scheduled as #marijuana appointment w/ #DaamnKam #RecoveryIsDiscovery

•The DaamnTalk #RecoveryDiscovery blog is for Us addicts with co-occurring disorders & diseases! *@ 30 y/o, *nearly 2 decades ‘missed’-diagnosed, *13 page ‘criminal’ history report, *8 inpatient rehabs & *over a dozen jails- *totaling over 2 years of confinement… RECOVERY IS STILL POSSIBLE!!!!! Last year, after experiencing a seemingly random & utterly insane mental collapse of Our psyche, We were diagnosed with Schizo-E-disorder, a genetic mental-disability mimicking that of #Schizophrenia. The breakdown occurred just days after receiving an officer at Our door, with service of a perspective restraining order against ‘me’ & Our (then) 7-month old son, (via his mother).
The situation deteriorated quickly as on March 9th, 2021, We called 911 while pulling onto the side of a quiet, wooded road; underwent what felt like a heart attack after the onset of the most extreme panic-attack We’d ever had. After, (another), blackout, (the 2nd that night thus far), We ‘came to’ coasting 5mph on the wrong side of a similarly wooded, 2-lane road, with at least 3 cop cars & an ambulance surrounding Our ‘yota like they were Our own private escort service... ~{With a working ignition interlock in Our truck, We attempted to explain that We were in serious need of ‘physical/mental help.’} Mind you, We were rapidly digressing into ‘textbook’ paranoid delusion…
The officers heard Our request only after they ‘breathalyzer’d’ ‘Us’, field tested Us & then handcuffed Us into the back of an ambulance... (After passing their tests.) Our mental state during this ordeal was that of one without days & days of sleep or rest; We remember believing that the officers were attempting to perform an ‘exorcism’ on Us while at the hospital. Three large, male officers had Us pinned down onto a bed as the forth officer took out the biggest Daamn needle to take my blood. Struggling not only physically, We were mentally wrestling to comprehend what was unfolding & losing the battle! Having arrived in this scene after having bounced in & out of consciousness, resulting from calling 911 for help - While deep in disillusionment - Our last memory before waking up in a solitary cell - will literally haunt Us for the rest of Our days on Earth…..
**[It gets graphic ….. so we cut the post here]**
Ultimately charged with ‘driving under the influence’, the officers report reads, “…likely a meth-induced-psychosis...” Additionally, the county saw fit to hit Us with *Resisting arrest & *Assault on an officer, (a class C felony). After release on these charges maybe 3 days later, (no bail was set), We were so ‘mentally ill’ that We failed to comprehend the problem was with Our perception! ~{We recall convincing Ourself that we’d crossed over into a parallel plain, an alternate reality where everything was very similar, yet, eerily off. Having become homeless, the proceeding 3 months were spent wandering Washington State either on blood-blistering feet, hitchhiking with randos or via one of many county busses. ~{Utterly mind blowing to Us now; The story is seemingly one straight out of an #AlfredHitchcock horror!}
Finally, in mid June 2021, another arrest. This time the result of breaking into, ‘the Church of Jesus Christ’, (the voices were assuring the Church would provide Us with both water & a safe place to finally rest Our eyes.) The next morning, after being shot & subdued, (by a rubber bullet), while incarcerated in jail #3, Our family (finally) located Us & invoked a particular lifesaving law, one that required the jail to ‘do a 1077’ - ‘perform a mental health evaluation’. Diagnosed ‘Stress-Induced-Schizo-Effective’, they prescribed anti-psychotics & over a rough period of 10 days - We proceeded to come back to reality! This insane nightmare had finally taken a turn…

Less than 30 days ago we were released from Our incarceration at a detention facility in Washington, having voluntarily gone with paramedics after deboarding an airplane, amidst a trauma induced ptsd attack — within hours we were treated as less than human - all for respectfully asking our supposed health care workers questions - having been strapped to a table & shot up with unknown chemicals by ‘mock-cops’… 11 days held involuntarily, served superior court papers.. yet, NOT charged with any crime…

Whether mental illness like We’ve been led to believe- or spiritual sickness like We hypothesize - We aren’t choosing chaos like in Our addiction! We are in Recovery & at the very least are suffering the ramifications of being newly diagnosed…”

- discussing the things generally avoided due to ‘stigma’, ‘controversy’, or ‘political correctness’… Because BOTH of Our diseases thrive in dark, quiet solitude! AND ‘dis-ease’ will diminish when successfully brought into the light!!!!! Thanks for ‘Our’ time & We hope to Talk to You soon! {In the comments!} & of course, wherever else you get social media, you’ll find DaamnTalkDJØ 🙏🙌🏽✊🏼☯️💬