Crimea bridge retaliation

Zelensky, why so glum, even coke doesn’t help, you crawled into a ball to relieve yourself, you tossed another Ukrop lowlife into my country. You blew up our Crimean bridge, and now I'm sending you back to Satan. You didn't expect that we'd respond, you thought we'd turn the other cheek...kiddies, you done guessed wrong, or did you forget who owns Crimea. You've come down with a case of the terrorism, but the doctors are on their way. Our rockets have flown to dissolve what ailes you. Now tell me, do you like shot you got with a syringe called Is-kan-der? Why are you heroes howling - you forced us to undertake these measures of last resort. We turned a blind eye too long - Donbass, Odessa and Harpin, time to remind you banderoids that the Russian spirit is unbreakable. And today you felt the strength of our treatment. But today was only the first round, and you still got the full course to complete.

Translation by Valmis