i've tried to change me, dude

now's not the time to waste gas
attempting to do comedy more
if i feel like driving out there that is
fuck 2 birds, how bout 6-7 birds
dominos trying to make it worth our while
it just keeps getting more and more depressing
everything is fuckin shit 20% off dessert pizza
shout out to mike pablo (another stand up comic in nashville) for sharing this exact sentiment (he is hilarious)
lauren is the only female strong enough
women are guaranteed to be miserable
fuck skinny jeans
teenie tiny pockets in women's jeans are a joke
so small it's retarded what's the point
everything is a giant conspiracy to make everyone as miserable as possible
i bought these jeans cos they look good
this part of me has shrunk in size over the yrs
we buy for the person in our head
i'm just not that way
cute little outfit, not really my thang
i want people to have that so i can vicariously enjoy it
rip my hair out and run away screaming
maybe they feel the exact same way about me but they dunno it
how can anyone put up with me
i always wanna be alone, like always
my mom told me that we were always very solitary even as a kid
everything is a mirage
we try to do sumin with it but we can't (that's the pain of it)
you're probably the 500th person to tell me this
i was open to this idea back in the day
everytime i get on a social network i feel horrible
they do it voluntarily which is crazy to me