What is Love? Do Unto Others

Song:
Worthy

Father,
Sometimes it is hard to remember this, especially when every fiber of my being is screaming to return things in kind, whether words or actions. Particularly when I’m deeply hurt by something someone said or did to me, or that negatively impacted me. Help me to hear the Holy Spirit in those moments, and to not act out of hurt or anger. Forgive me for the times when I fail. Those moments when I do let a zinger out or when I do something negative to someone who does something negative to me. Thank you, Lord. Thank you that I am forgiven and can forgive.
Amen.

Matthew 7:12-14 (TPT)

12“In everything you do, be careful to treat others in the same way you’d want them to treat you, for that is the essence of all the teachings of the Law and the Prophets.13 Enter through the narrow gate because the wide gate and broad path is the way that leads to destruction—nearly everyone chooses that crowded road! 14The narrow gate and the difficult way leads to eternal life—so few even find it!”

No matter what other say or do to or about us, we are called to treat them how we WANT to be treated… many of us who grew up in church know this as the “golden rule”. Do you want to be treated terribly? Do you want people to treat you like dirt? Show people how to treat you by treating them in the way that you want to be treated. This somewhat builds on the last couple of weeks, when we covered anger, hate and revenge, based on the end of Matthew 5. Do you want someone to have reason to harm you in any way because of something negative you did to them?

I feel like, just like in Matthew 5, there is a heart issue at play here, Jesus doesn’t necessarily directly address it in this passage in the form of “You’ve heard it said, but I say…” as He did in the Sermon on the Mount in chapter 5, but it is subtext at this point. What is the heart issue that causes us to mistreat others? The base problem is that of pride which couples with the wounds that we have received as we walk through this life to create a chip on our shoulders. We act out of that pain and pride combo and ultimately make things worse for ourselves by making things worse for those around us. We need to break the cycle, and let go of the pain and the pride so that we can genuinely prefer the other. So that we can really love each other the way God designed us to. Easy to type and say, but not easy to do. Simple, but not easy. One thing that my mom has always done well is to not hold grudges for long. She has always been very forgiving. She taught me to always see the best in people and to give them the benefit of the doubt. That is loving. Does it have its limits and flaws? Sure. But it is a better way to approach life than nursing the memory of a wrong or offense for a lifetime, and allowing those things to color your whole life experience, as my wife’s grandma did. She’s been with Jesus for over 5 years now, and we still joke about some of the grudges that she’d rehearse with my wife for over 40 years. That is not at all how I would want to be remembered, as an angry, hurt person who never forgives anyone. Is that how you want to be remembered?

I’d rather be remembered for kindness and understanding, not rotten anger and pain that governed my life. Let it go. Ask the Lord to help you to release the pain and eliminate your pride, so that you can love others better, and not always be so triggered. Is it a process? Absolutely. Do not expect it to be a instant sozo situation, where you miraculously stop holding grudges and start forgiving, while simultaneously beginning to do right by others no matter what. It could happen. But it is unlikely.