Yoga for God

Why I believe in God.

God saved me.

…

During my informative years I was plagued by mental illness. Body dysmorphic disorder ruled my world for 12 years, from the age of 11-23. As my illness progressed it morphed into severe anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. I’m aware how some people may view eating disorders; some feel that it is a choice, but I can assure you, it is not. I tried to stop many times, but just like any other mental illness, I was unable to will it away on my own and would always end up bingeing and purging.

I remember my breaking point, when I turned to God. My head hung deep into the toilet bowl, the backend of a toothbrush down my throat, my body convulsing from the gag reflux, tears streaming down my face. And all I could think about was, I don’t want to be this person anymore. I don’t want every thought of everyday to be about what to eat and when to eat and how to throw it all up afterwards. So many precious moments were half lived because I was never truly present and I knew I didn’t want to live that way anymore. I wanted to love life and live life again just as a did when I was a child. And so I begged God to help me, I pleaded for Him to give me the strength I needed to overcome this horrible disease.

God heard my cries and He saved me.

The very next day, the world seemed clearer, brighter, more beautiful than it was the day before, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt genuinely happy. Did I fall? Once. I binged and purged, but while purging I knew that it would be the very last time.

This experience strengthened my faith in God. It reassures me during these days of darkness that God’s Will shall rule.

I wish you all strength, love and peace during this time.

#Godbless
#havefaith
#blessed
#yoga
#yogapractice

Music by @carrieunderwood - Amazing Grace