DON’T BE FOOLED - MATURITY DOES NOT COME WITH AGE by J Loren Norris

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4 years ago
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DON’T BE FOOLED - MATURITY DOES NOT COME WITH AGE by J Loren Norris

THIS MORNING MY ADULT SON ASKED ME: “WHY DO SOME PEOPLE IN THEIR 30s STILL LIVE IN ‘TEENAGED DRAMA’?”

What is it about DRAMA at any age that attracts people?
Why do some people seem so inclined to DRAMA, they will create it when there is none?
Why do some people seem to thrive in DRAMA laced situations, circumstances and even relationships?

In the video I mention the ideas my son expressed as possible reasons. There my be some truth in them. Additionally, however, let me add a few thoughts of my own experience and research.

Many people, leaders and otherwise are still struggling with their own identity, meaning and purpose in life and the innate desire to be and feel significant.

When your life intersects with someone else and you cannot observe any impact on them whatsoever created by your presence, the emotional sense of inadequacy and obscurity will begin to eat away at your internal confidence level like termites in your hope chest. (I know, I spent a decade or more of my life living there.)

The effect of DRAMA, such as emotionally charged conversations, narcissistically laden behavior and psychological manipulation brings some sense of control and meaning back to the manufacturer of the drama.

How do we know? Because a two or three year old who throws themself on the floor in the grocery isle or screams “you don’t even love me” in order to get their way, is EXERCISING THE SAME TACTICS.

When someone has reached the age of maturity yet continues to exhibit the same emotionally manipulative activity to gain or maintain “relevance “ and control over someone else, they demonstrate a lack of maturity and self awareness.

This is sadly COMMON among leaders, or at least those who SEEK to be leaders. Those who crave power, title, control, influence and yet remain immature in their own issues are a danger to any organization.

They will often seek to acquire titles, accolades, acclaim, even infamy to demonstrate their significance. They will often pursue this recognition OUTSIDE OF THE ORGANIZATION with the hopes that their influence within the organization will be the beneficiary.

If you find yourself prone to drama, stop and ask yourself WHY? Why am I comfortable with this level of emotion and anxiety? Do I seek out relationships which perpetuate this state of being? Do I manufacture drama where there is none? Do I prefer chaos over peace? If you answer any of these questions in the affirmative GET A COACH OR COUNSELLOR NOW before you do irreparable damage to your career, your reputation, yourself or someone you truly care about.

Www.jlorennorris.com/coach

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