HATERS GONNA HATE. PLAYERS GONNA PLAY. DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’VE BEEN PLAYED?

HATERS GONNA HATE. PLAYERS GONNA PLAY. DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’VE BEEN PLAYED?

“Few emotions are worse than the feeling of overwhelming frustration, loss, embarrassment and anger which follows the revelation that you have been lied to, cheated, manipulated and used. Haters are generally pretty straight forward about hate. A player will lie to your face and laugh about it later.” J Loren Norris

GIVE ME AN HONEST HATER
Personally, I prefer an honest hater over a lying player any day. At least a hater with integrity is clear on where you stand with them. You know you can’t win them over. You know they won’t support your success and they will do all they can to derail you. You know their motives and intentions upfront. It still sucks to have haters, especially if you are a natural born people pleaser. Having haters is a special kind of personal and internal torture.

There is no way to please a hater, no way to make them happy, no way to get them on your side. But hey, at least you know that and you can choose to simply move on with your life. After all, chances are, the reason they hate you has nothing to do with something you have the ability to change. Chances are also high, that the reason they hate you is based on something you are unwilling to change. It might be your firmly held core values, it might be your gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation. Being hated for things you cannot or will not change is unpleasant ground to stand on, but at least you know where you stand.

PLAYERS CHANGE THE GAME
Players know when you are a natural born people pleaser. Chances are, that’s why they chose you. They know you live for making people happy and you will sacrifice much of your own contentedness, peace and compassion to please others. The player has already laid out a plan in their imagination which sees you giving them everything they want, then discarding you. The only thing which will make their joy greater, is the opportunity for someone else to see you get played who will acknowledge the masterful success of the player. The more you grovel, plea and concede to be accepted, to be a part of the players inner circle, the more satisfaction they derive from your efforts.

If this scenario sounds familiar, it is not your fault you have been played. You may have knowingly or unwittingly given off all the signs of a “playable victim.” But that does not mean you deserved to be played, abused, used, lied to, manipulated and cast aside. Players are proficient and practiced at the art of taking advantage. Most players are narcissistic in their own nature and fancy themselves smarter and better at playing the game than anyone around them. When they get played in return, they get angry, vengeful, destructive and downright evil or mean beyond imagination. If that doesn’t work, they change the game. There is no winning with a narcissistic player. The only victory is escape. The sooner you escape, the greater the win for you and the greater the loss for them.

PLAYERS ON EVERY FIELD
Politics. Media. Career fields. Education. Ministry. Dating relationships and even the military are all filled with players. Survival on any of these play scapes is determined by your astute ability to distinguish haters from players and your willingness to walk away. One other caveat. Remember the old adage, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” An integrous hater is an unlikely victim for a player. Also remember, the sooner you recognize a player pretending to be a friend, the sooner you can guard yourself against them gaining the upper hand.

“There is no worse enemy than a ‘good friend’ gone bad because they know all your secrets.” J Loren Norris
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Leading Leaders Podcast is a short but impactful leadership video, blog and podcast distributed 5 days a week by J Loren Norris to promote faith, family and freedom in the face of a global leadership drought.

Blog & Additional Resources www.jlorennorris.com/storypower
#leadingleaderspodcast #storypower #jlorennorris
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