SUBTLETY IS AN ARTFORM. LACK OF IT IS LIKE CRACKING EGGS WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER by J Loren Norris

SUBTLETY IS AN ARTFORM. LACK OF IT IS LIKE CRACKING EGGS WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER

"It is often in our everyday relationships and common conversations that the subtlety of our own selfishness rears its head, reveals our intention and diverts our attention. Subtlety is the cause of wars, the kiss of betrayal and the wink of admiration all at once." J Loren Norris

SUBTLETY DEFINED
What does Subtley mean? Fine or delicate in meaning or intent; difficult to perceive or understand: subtle irony. delicate or faint and mysterious: a subtle smile. requiring mental acuteness, penetration, or discernment: a subtle philosophy. characterized by mental acuteness or penetration: a subtle understanding. (Simple Google Search)

​The less than subtle is the sledgehammer for cracking eggs. The artful application of subtlety is the delicate finesse of nearly imperceptible alteration which results in significant change.

SUBTLETY REVEALED
The simplicity of the proper placement of an unfamiliar word, a lifted eyebrow, a wry smile, a whispered aside can be the power of transformation targeted to one person in a crowd of many. The political dog whisper, the conversation in an unknown tongue, the unrecognizable gesture or suspiciously timed cough these are all subtle forms of communication which carry significant magnitude of potency. Instructions, reminders, or hints like the teacher stomping her foot as she mentions a topic or idea which will more than likely be required knowledge on the upcoming exam.

Subtlety is often an internal nudge as well. An emotional spur, a reminder of pain from before, the frustration of unmet needs or desires, these can infiltrate otherwise normal conversations and create unplanned angry retorts. Like the horn in every picture the rhino paints, the confirmation bias of our own unmet wants and needs can skew the way we read the intentions or behavior of others. When they do not perform or treat us with the respect we feel we deserve, when they fail to recognize our efforts or best intentions and when they say or do something not to our pleasure, we must certainly LET THEM KNOW... right?

SUBTLETY APPLIED
Astute leaders "read between the lines," hear what wasn't spoken, perceive what can't be expressed. It is the master of subtle communication who responds to the unspoken wants, needs, desires, joys and pains of others. It is the subtle leader who gently and imperceptible meets the needs of others with the influence of helping who builds a legacy with a solid foundation. It is this subtle leader who is recalled for years with fondness and honor because of their courage to "speak up"... often without speaking at all.

In the movie Avatar this subtle response took most of the movie and much pain to be transferred to the reluctant hero. He needed a sledgehammer to crack eggs in the beginning. As his own revelation began to unfold he expressed his new understanding in three subtle words, "I see you."

​This article may seem vague. It is not. It is subtle. Leadership is not management, manipulation, control, domination or tyranny. Leadership is influence. Influence is best done subtly.

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