LIVE Talking to your children about your age gap with a Filipina

If you have children, what are you going to tell them about your atypical relationship?

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I am making this video to accommodate a viewer request. They asked for a video about our age gap relationship and how our children dealt with it if we had any. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea where I give higher Fil-West education to foreigners and Filipinas, and this is a good one. I had not put any thought into that before but it will be of interest to some viewers and for a while I was hoping to address this with my own child. Comments are welcome. Let me know your thoughts on how your children have dealt with your relationship with a younger Filipina and how you have talked to them about it.

Your small children-It would be normal for them to have some surprise, shock, or skepticism depending on how old the children are. If they are quite young, they might not notice it is different yet, but eventually they will be around other children whose parents are about the same age and will be curious why your parents are different; why they are so far apart in age. I can imagine other children making fun of your child as they often do, for something they don’t understand. There are things you can’t make them understand but there are some things you can say to a school aged child of yours.

You can tell them that married couples don’t have to be the same age and many relationships are like yours. They might not be aware of that but it is true. You can tell them that you chose a wife who you thought would be a good mother some day and that you love her more than any woman in the world. They will likely get challenged by some stereotypes the other children gather from their own parents. I would want my child prepared to know how to respond.

If they are asked “why is your dad so much older than your mom?”, I’d ask them to reply with “because he was born before she was.” If they continue to ask, they could reply with “my dad thinks my mom is very pretty” and leave it at that. Do you agree with me? I don’t have any idea if junior high aged children make fun of children with parents who have an age gap relationship, I can only speculate that they would. Let the last word be “my parents love each other”. I would tell them not to argue or get upset with the other children who are probing with their questions and hope that is good enough.

Your older children-This is where the biggest concern usually is with how children will react to an age gap relationship. The first time it comes up will be before the westerner marries a younger woman from the Philippines. A younger child might just have to deal with the unusualness of it, but as the child grows up, their minds will develop and they will have a different perspective. Yes, the relationship is still unusual, but here are some other questions they might ask you. Some might simply just want to know, but others might be very skeptical of your response.

Watch the video called Talking to your children about your age gap with a Filipina to learn more.

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