Ep. 68 How to Manage Family Expectations Regarding Relationships: Interview with Varsha Mathur

Strong, independent adults in our twenties, thirties, forties (and beyond!) sometimes still feel pressure from our families—pressure to conform to family expectations, pressure to be at a certain stage of our lives, pressure to make choices consistent with our family’s values. Moreover, establishing a distinct identity within the context of our families often proves even more challenging for adult children from traditional upbringings and/or members of “third cultures.” Life coach Varsha Mathur shares her experiences with dating, marriage, and divorce as a “third culture” American woman of South Asian descent.

Join us to learn:
· How to assert yourself within your family in a psychologically healthy manner.
· Why individuation is typically more difficult for members of a “third culture.”
· The pervasive fear inherent to the individuation process—for both parents and adult children.
· How to identify and manage covert “family rules.”
· The difference between following your heart and trusting your gut.
· When to open the lines of communication with your family and when to recognize you don’t owe anyone any explanations.
· How to take back your power and agency.
· How I used Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy on myself to take charge of my thoughts (and my life) after calling off my wedding!

Varsha and I explore the challenges of individuating from family of origin—challenges that, for most of us, persist to some degree throughout adulthood—and provide strategies for how to remain close to, while also independent from, our families in adulthood.