Communication in a Relationship - How To Talk To Guys RIGHT

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Communication In A Relationship – How To Get Him To Talk
BY CARLOS CAVALLO · APRIL 7, 2020

If there’s one topic that will make all the difference in the world to your relationship, it’s communication in a relationship.

If you want a man to talk to you, you have to understand how he communicates.

Guys don’t communicate the same way women do.

This may sound like the most obvious thing you’ve ever heard, but most of the women that I coach and teach don’t seem to realize this. They talk to men like they talk to their girlfriends. And it has catastrophic effects on the relationship.

Not only is communication in a relationship important, it’s also important to recognize when there’s a lack of communication.

We are going to explore good communication, bad communication, and ways to improve your communication with men. This may be the most important article you read this year.

You probably even heard the word communication used to describe relationships themselves.

The fact is that a relationship is nothing more than communication.

Communicating love…
Communicating needs…
Communicating feelings…
Communicating problems…
Communicating about life…
The simple fact is that you can’t have communication without a relationship. And you can’t have a relationship without communication.

If we don’t choose our words carefully, the relationship will always suffer. We have to be careful about how we talk to our partner.

Let’s talk about some of the negative communication patterns we get into so that you can recognize them. I’m going to start with John Gottman’s “four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse.” It’s probably one of the most common models of bad communication. And I feel it’s super important for you to review here.

Keep in mind that this pattern is progressive. Number one typically comes first, then the rest follow after in order.

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Negative Communication Pattern Number 1: Criticism

Criticizing a man is putting him down. It’s the fastest way to alienate your man, and poison your relationship.

Let’s face it, we know that criticism is a relationship killer. But we can’t seem to stop ourselves from doing it.

Everyone seems to think that criticism will get a person to do what you want them to do. And it may actually do that – sometimes – but only for short time.

Criticism creates resentment so fast. It’s like putting a few drops of bleach in a glass of water. In moments the water is poisoned.

The best thing you can do is to communicate what you would like within your relationship. If you’re pointing out how your partner is not giving you what you need, you’ve skipped a step. Especially if you have never really explained your needs to him. Or why this situation bothers you the way it does.

Make sure you communicate your needs first.

And also remember that criticism is very often just another way to keep your distance from another person. It’s avoiding intimacy.

Yes, women do this too. Very frequently.

Negative Communication Pattern Number 2: Defensiveness

Being defensive is self protection. Remember that being defensive is just a sneaky way of trying to blame the situation on the other person.

If you feel attacked, look at that first. Chances are you may be either misunderstanding that he’s blaming you, or taking it too personally.

The best way to avoid defensiveness is to take responsibility for your part of the situation.

One of the ways I can tell how healthy a person is when they get divorced is by asking them what their part of the relationship breaking up is. Most of the time both people typically blame each other and take no responsibility.

Negative Communication Pattern Number 3: Stonewalling

Have you ever caught yourself saying “never mind” to him?

Or maybe he asks you what’s wrong and you say “Nothing.”

Maybe he’s said it to you?

Stonewalling is simply the shut-down of communications. It’s when you withdraw from ...

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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
http://www.datingadviceguru.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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Communication In A Relationship
https://youtu.be/aJn-4GrdaRI