June 19, 2021

(D calls house phone multiple times, J only one who knows/knew where phone are, have to rush him out of shower, my cell won't receive calls and keeps going to voicemail (D thinks they aren't on, therefore we don't need/deserve phones) J yelling about feeling "totally disowned and depressed", "I feel so bad right now" (I wait for permission to go to my room and by out of the way/"line of fire" even for a little bit, one of my frozen towels is entirely missing (I remember taking it out of the freezer; my eyes sting, tried to make J a plate but didn't get chance to tell about it; M's leg hurts whether on bed or floor/she can't really move, she says I should want to be around my mother)

please pray for all of "us" (I should probably say meaning "this "fAmiLy"" but I really mean people in situations just good enough not to be considered 'abuse survivors', but still just wish to be free and happy someday, and would never under any circumstances put anyone else through what little we have been through, not even to prove a point about it to the people who put us through it)

Happy Juneteenth